tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post4093638066944613552..comments2023-10-17T10:17:28.786-04:00Comments on The Exception: Does IQ Matter?The Exceptionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758654167029552230noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-79905157163277414702008-09-25T10:21:00.000-04:002008-09-25T10:21:00.000-04:00Thanks for all your comments. I love all the diff...Thanks for all your comments. I love all the different perspectives. I have a feeling that there is more blog fodder here! I love all your input!The Exceptionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13758654167029552230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-78500991133714740552008-09-24T16:40:00.000-04:002008-09-24T16:40:00.000-04:00Very interesting post! At the risk of sounding ar...Very interesting post! At the risk of sounding arrogant, I am a very intellectual person and my ex was definitely a few steps below me in that area. I loved him and never considered it an issue. Looking back, I realize that it probably was an issue to him. Over time, he became more and more verbally and psychologically abusive and I believe that this was (at least in part) his way of taking control when he felt threatened. By cutting me down, he made himself feel better. Even aside from that, I realized too late in the relationship that we had different priorities and different goals and dreams in life. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize those warning signs soon enough. I know now that I want...maybe even need...someone who can challenge me and stimulate me intellectually as well as in other areas. I'm competitive enough that I don't think I would be happy with someone who is clearly out of my league intellectually but I do need someone who can at least keep me on my toes so to speak. Sadly, at this stage in my life, that is becoming increasingly difficult to find...WonderMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01807858950739002823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-412720009414493222008-09-24T13:27:00.000-04:002008-09-24T13:27:00.000-04:00Let me clarify what I've said above. (I got inter...Let me clarify what I've said above. (I got interrupted while doing that post and didn't make a key point I originally intended to make.)<BR/><BR/>We shouldn't confuse intelligence with IQ or education.<BR/><BR/>IQ is just one way to measure intelligence. It can be useful for certain purposes; but not nearly as much as often thought.<BR/><BR/>Also, Educated does not necessarily equal Intelligent.<BR/><BR/>I have an Aunt who is by all measures brilliant. She graduated from a very prestigious university with highest honors with an undergrad and graduate degrees in mathematics. She is now over 80 years old and still does her own taxes in her head. (Awhile back at a family gathering she said her favorite subject in college was differential calculus. She just loved those differential equations.)<BR/><BR/>Much as we love her, that lady has not one lick of sense. ZERO. Plus her mind is not cluttered with unsaid thoughts. She is a fabulous example of intelligent and educated, with a high IQ. But she does lack common sense or any form of a sense of humor.<BR/><BR/>My point of all this being, there are many ways to measure intelligence. Academic learning being only one of many.<BR/><BR/>TAGTAGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06235937547319244705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-81354522330434783962008-09-24T13:20:00.000-04:002008-09-24T13:20:00.000-04:00I can vouch for The Exception's intellect - she ki...I can vouch for The Exception's intellect - she kicks my ass in WordTwist over in the <A HREF="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=22920523770" REL="nofollow">Single Parents Connection Facebook group</A> all the time!<BR/><BR/>My mom has a Berkeley grad degree, and I definitely like smart women. Dating-wise, though, I never meet them! It seems the woman available to me in my part of the world and at my life stage are women who are less educated. Do I notice? Sometimes our conversations can be a little one sided. But for the most part, I am attracted to and embrace other qualities in them - compassion, adventurous spirit, kindness, sexiness.<BR/><BR/>The dream woman from my blog posts who I'm supposed to meet in a week or two is highly educated, btw...dadshousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01850838844108349101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-22322118737967981572008-09-24T12:23:00.000-04:002008-09-24T12:23:00.000-04:00Intelligence is definitely important. Of course I...Intelligence is definitely important. Of course I'm only speaking for myself.<BR/><BR/>We've all heard the old saying about beauty being skin deep. That is so true. I see a couple of different levels of "beauty". There is what most see, outer beauty. Then there is what can't be seen with a glance, inner beauty.<BR/><BR/>A big part of this inner beauty is intelligence. You add confidence and well roundedness to your list. Rightfully so. But in the end a huge factor in inner beauty is intelligence.<BR/><BR/>The really good thing is if one chooses a partner with lots of inner beauty, it is the sort that never fades with age. In fact it grows.<BR/><BR/>TAGTAGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06235937547319244705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-61981702460154502652008-09-24T12:15:00.000-04:002008-09-24T12:15:00.000-04:00Very interesting thoughts here...I have never thou...Very interesting thoughts here...<BR/><BR/>I have never thought about IQ but I do tend to be attracted to conversationalists as well. I love a man who is articulate and well read. If a man has good grammar and spelling skills, it instantly makes me smile. I do enjoy a slight intimidation factor...not someone who is "smarter" than me per se (not that it matters to me) but I enjoy learning about topics I know nothing about. So, if I'm with someone who knows quite a bit about a topic that interests me, I can be hooked on his every word for hours. <BR/><BR/>I am also drawn to confidence and someone who is good at what they do. I giggle at myself when I get turned on by seeing someone troubleshoot a technical problem with complete focus and knowledge... or when my soldier talks about his experience and achievements in the Army. I don't know what the hell he's talking about but all the tech speak sounds absolutely scrumptious to me for some reason. <BR/><BR/>I too love an open mind. I appreciate when the man I'm with will admit that he is willing to learn or try something new. Just because I know something doesn't make me more intelligent than them. <BR/><BR/>Still, I do attract men with my intellect and strength so I can't say that it deters them. Those are some of the compliments I hear most often actually. If they're threatened or intimidated by me, I probably won't be attracted to them anyway. Confidence is sexy.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10112766306021310705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-24909886659583395952008-09-24T11:55:00.000-04:002008-09-24T11:55:00.000-04:00Ways of thinking, rather than IQ per se, might cau...Ways of thinking, rather than IQ per se, might cause more strife. I am extremely quick on my feet, defensive and articulate. I can use that, and do use that, to my best advantage, which very much intimidates Him. I am also not afraid to expand and learn new things...a quality I need in a partner and one that intimidates the hell out of Him as well.<BR/><BR/>However, I find myself incredibly intimidated when I feel my voice has been taken from me (i.e. I am not being 'heard').<BR/><BR/>Apart from that, experience (life experience) more than IQ has been another great intimidation factor. I have lived a rich, full life with very few regrets--if I am with someone who feels intimidated by my presence or my experiences while I still consider myself very down-to-earth, I can't deal with it--friendships or lovers.<BR/><BR/>I find myself intimidated here more by financial "status", big homes, rich lifestyles and pushy parents that I just can't and don't really want to keep up with. That can play into self-esteem if I let it--which would then hurt me in other aspects of my life--so I have to watch it.<BR/><BR/>Interesting post, so relative to so many different parts of our lives. Thank you.<BR/><BR/>Be well, TE.Mama Llamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04392701844744910258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-39193880786232011602008-09-24T11:05:00.000-04:002008-09-24T11:05:00.000-04:00What's that old saying, "You can attract from 1 po...What's that old saying, "You can attract from 1 point above or below you on the scale. Anymore than that and someone's slumming." I think it works here. As long as we're in the same ball park I'm okay with it. She wants to talk nuclear fission then she's going to lose me. Not that I mind, but she better be able to talk about something we both can.Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13641318104807962051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-46027514787758142352008-09-24T10:51:00.000-04:002008-09-24T10:51:00.000-04:00The IQ number is not necessarily important, but in...The IQ number is not necessarily important, but intellect and the desire to learn is absolutely something that is a deal breaker for me. <BR/><BR/>I prefer being with someone smarter than myself, and (how does one say this without sounding obnoxious) that takes someone pretty smart. I am very well read, well traveled, well versed in all sorts of different things and I need someone who can at least match me in discussion and desire to learn.<BR/><BR/>I had a brief fling with a guy who I knew from the beginning was only ever going to be a friends with benefits kind of guy...he had no desire to learn, grow intellectually and wander outside the little world he knew. That is absolutely unattractive to me. <BR/><BR/>(But at the time he had different skills that I valued...)<BR/><BR/>Some people are naturally just smart people (high IQs) and others work hard to grow/learn. Either of those is fine with me -- but not having an innate desire for knowledge won't cut it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9218017137310902714.post-6145088762528639702008-09-24T10:09:00.000-04:002008-09-24T10:09:00.000-04:00Ms. Exception - another intellectually stimulating...Ms. Exception - another intellectually stimulating post! Many of the traits that you note as attractive are on my list, too - but perhaps most fundamental are curiosity and passion. And it takes an intelligent person to be clever and witty, too, which are important components of the conversations that I love to share with my friends and loves.<BR/><BR/>My mother is at least as bright and opinionated and intellectually challenging as my father, which is perhaps the reason that I find intelligent women so captivating. And if they like to be above tree line or out on a mountain bike, I'm hopeless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com