08 February, 2011

Lost in a Fog

The world in which I live is a fog of pink and red and sugary mist.  Everywhere I turn, it is as if I have left the cold and gray days of February and landed somewhere in Candy Land.  I am not sure it is because I have been working through a low grade fever for a bit now or if, perhaps, Valentine’s Day is approaching?

Or maybe it is both?

I remember Valentine’s day as a child – the little candies and cards stuffed into boxes or decorated holders on our desks – The delight in receiving the funny cards.  *sigh*

I can’t remember when the day began to take an emotional turn in that the type of card received or the flowers, gifts, or chocolate made a difference?  That the feelings of another were captured and reflected in this one day a year.  It started somewhere in youth – that attachment to the emotional side of the celebration of Valentine’s Day… and for many, it is carried into adulthood.  I know plenty of women who are quite attached to what they “receive” on 14 February and men who don’t meet the mark or go through a great deal of stress trying to live up to the expectations of the day. 

I am just not sure that I understand why?

Why women place so much on this day?

Why men stress out about it?

Why there is an expectation that the love expressed on 14 February is  defining?  Why we believe that love is reflected in the expense of the gift or the dinner or the material aspects of this date?

“Love is for everyday” I answered  the questions of my daughter that echo my own above, as we entered a balloon and heart filled store awash with every color of red and pink one could imagine. 

This is what I believe – it is what I am hoping my daughter will remember when push comes to shove and one day a man works late on  Valentine’s day or doesn’t give her a diamond or there is no “love” in the picture at all. 

Love is more than a box of chocolates or diamonds or cards or a fancy dinner.  I am not sure that any of those things are love no matter how we might want them to be. 
Love is the every day, the sharing, the caring, the time spent together… the respect, the compassion the honesty

It is fun to celebrate Valentine’s day and become lost in the sugary pink sweetness…

And it is fun to celebrate love each and every day, not just a day in the middle of February. 


Unknown said...

"it is fun to celebrate love each and every day, not just a day in the middle of February." YAY for speaking out about real love! I don't know how those messages about valentines get planted into minds, but they are so dangerous. Love looks like many, many things and very seldom does it look like "gifts."

Your words carry such great truth!

Wifsie said...

I never cared much for Valentine's Day. It's fun but you are right: Love is an every moment thing. It's the force that helps navigate the rough seas, it's not a cake and a card one day a week. But by the same token, it's also good to celebrate the pink in our lives once in a while. :)

giulietta nardone said...

Hi TE,

I believe it's a commercially driven, orchestrated event that causes significant emotional distress to unmarried and single folks.

Who would intentionally design a holiday that makes the lonely feel even lonelier? This year I told my husband to not even bother with the card. I was never one for generic gifts. Not fair to anyone. My husband shows me love all the time and gives me many gifts of the heart. I don't need a diamond pendant to know this.

Great post! G.

BigLittleWolf said...

Love is about each day. This is a Hallmark holiday, as far as I'm concerned.

Bah humbug.

Show up with a wildflower picked on the side of the road, when I least expect. Now that's romantic. From a guy - or a child.

Sara said...

TE -- I agree with you that there should be 365 days of love. Still, I like the idea of setting a day aside as a reminder that love is something we really need to share, not just for ourselves and family/friends, but throughout our world.

Love is a universal emotion and therefore known to every person who resides on this tiny planet. Sometimes I think we need to reminded of this fact.

Mind you, I don't like the commercialism of "Valentine's Day." It focuses too much on "couple" love and not the love you're talking about.

I hope you're feeling better and this was a very loving post:~)

Lance said...

...love is for everyday...

(I *love* that!!)

And so this is good for me to read today, several days AFTER Valentine's day...

Much love to you,