27 April, 2007

Look, But Don't Touch

This is the story of my life with men. No, I am not the one looking but not touching; they are. A while back a friend of mine explained to me that I have this attitude that tells men they can look all they want, but... alas, that is all they are going to get.

I am not sure that I agree with this. I just happen to be a woman who believes that we are all pretty much these brains in bodies. Every once in a while something will happen in which there will be a chemical reaction caused by the sight, smell, voice, or presence of a guy... and then I become aware that, "wow, he has a body too!" However, chemical reaction aside, we are all just brains in bodies.

My vision of life does create complications. I am completely oblivious to when a man is interested in me unless I am interested in him as well. I might mentally notice flirting, but I don't take it to heart. I flirt back... it is all in good fun. Friends from grad school insist that a good friend of mine had a crush on me for years. I am still not too sure about that. I suppose we will never know.

Every once in a while something shatters my view of the way things operate. My first professional position was working in an office with one woman and over ten men. It was a small office. One of my dearest friends (male) decided to tell me that every guy I worked with had probably thought about me in "that" way. even though I don't work with those guys anymore, the idea still freaks me out. Men are, as he said, men. They think about such things when they are working with an attractive woman. (Yeah, maybe teen aged men, but seriously... men... I don't think so)

I like to bury my head and the sand and just believe that this is not the case. Hello... we are brains in bodies. I don't notice other bodies in "that" way so I am sure that no one is daring to notice me.

Sometimes it is difficult, even for me, to ignore. Like the men who like to make eye contact with other parts of my body rather than my eyes? Or the surreptitious glances at my shirt. I am sure that they aren't thinking... "I wonder where she bought that as I would love to get one for..."

I don't want to give an impression that I am a prude. I am actually quite the flirt, but it is the kind of flirting that is based on fun or pure interest in the guy and what he has to say. One of the guys I work with now is fabulous in that he and I can flirt away - you know, nothing overly direct but very witty and suggestive - while each of us knowing that it isn't going anywhere. I enjoy those conversations and relationships. Yes, I know, it is mental/brain based over anything physical. As I said, we are all brains in bodies!

The universe is constantly challenging my perspective. This morning some guy attempted to capture my attention from his car. Sigh... quite lame. Another guy wants to take pictures of me... ugh... Brains in bodies, brains in bodies...

It, therefore, did not surprise me yesterday when X asked if he could post pictures of my chest on the internet for men to "rate" - him being convinced that I would get nothing less than a 9. (my thought... only a 9? These are all natural, 100% organic. You say they are not a 10?)

Men... I do love them so, but honestly... we are brains in bodies!! Why is it that we can't focus on the splendor of my brain????


Joe said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I answered the "what is the big deal about hockey? " question on my blog.

Carrie said...

Oh what a question... and as much as I'd like to believe that there are some men who chose brains over the body... if they could only have one it would be the body. I learned that lesson a while ago when I would watch my hopelessly dim but beautiful cousin who was blessed with blonde hair, green eyes and big breasts capture the attention of 4x more men that I, the average brunette with brown eyes and an average to high average IQ.

Is it because men want to be smarter than the women they date? Superior? Be able to 'trade up' so to speak? Who knows... but it also makes me realize how lucky I am to have found a man who adores my brain as much as he adores my body.

Bre said...

I'm a rather natural flirt. I do it so often that I don't actually notice who I'm flirting with, and often don't intend to be sending out "interested!" signals. It's just the way I operate.

When it comes down to it though, while it's nice to have someone adore your body, it's much more fabulous to have someone adore your mind!!