To call or not to call, that is the question.
When it comes to men, I am truly and completely a female form of Charlie Brown. I am great at "friends" and I am fabulous (not to toot my horn or anything) after the "relationship" (in whatever form) begins. It is that in between part that, well, it leaves me baffled and befuddled.
Primarily, men simply don't take me seriously when I say I am not looking for marriage. I think that this, first and foremost, throws them off. Honestly, what thirty something woman is NOT looking to get married? It is like the situation immediately starts with a "doubt" in the trust column. (which is just beyond me as honesty is key with me)
From there, it is all downhill. Meet perceived great guy and work/life get in the way.
In December and January I had a crush on a guy I perceived to be great - what a way to end and start the years! The kind of guy that you enjoy talking with, laughing with, who has a sense of humor and a way of talking that, well, leaves you wanting more. We were on the same page; marriage is not a part of our future, just a relationship for the fun and companionship/friendship... you know, a great guy.
One thing about great guys in DC, they are all married to their work. This perceived great guy was no different. He had the chance of a lifetime and took it. Like the sentimental fool that I am... I am happy for him. (something else guys around here don't get, women can actually be supportive and happy for them over being resentful over their success or the time required to achieve that success. )
Thus, since January I have worked to get over my "crush" on said guy. I mean, honestly, he probably wasn't that great anyway - right? It was more my imagination than the reality of who he was. This is a city of politicians and well, he knew how to play the game. (I don't think so. I think he is a good person and great at what he does. I just hope he didn't play me! )
So my FWB sent me an e-mail last week, "I think you should call said guy and see if there is any interest."
Sigh, I was quite assertive with perceived great guy from the get go. Completely out of character in a sense, but I am 36 and why not demonstrate interest or why play games if I think it is something I want to explore further?
I have not called. Usually I take whatever FWB says seriously. he is a guy's guy in that there is nothing but "guy" coursing through is body. He thinks like the typical guy. He lacks a romantic bone! (That said, he is one of the few that knows about this and IF he is reading... he knows that he is the best!)
This time, however, I am not sure FWB is right. I am actually not thinking about perceived great guy every few days, wondering what he is doing etc. I have moved on. (of course, I have my weak moments when I recall his voice and consider his belief in slow seduction but those are increasingly few and far between)
And yet, here I sit, writing about the situation. Like Charlie Brown, I am clueless about what to do. Do I do as FWB suggested and, out of the blue, call perceived great guy? Or do I let it go and enjoy the memory and the thrill that I felt in December and January?
Despite my unorthodox American thinking, I was raised in a traditional family and have a clear idea of how men and women are supposed to behave in the "boy meets girl" scenario. SO, I am not supposed to call him - right?
What a way to start a weekend.
To call or not to call...