"That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going." (Forrest Gump)
I sat in the car, warmth blowing on my bare feet, the world flashing by outside the window. "Do you ever just want to keep going? Just not stop?" I posed the question more voicing my own thoughts than expecting an answer.
There are days when I just don't feel like stopping. I drop off the Diva and just want to... go. I don't have a particular destination in mind; do not desire to reach a goal or arrive anywhere specific. I just want to start walking and not stop until... well, like Forrest... until I just don't want to do it anymore.
"If you started walking, you would end up in Bethesda," he points out, teasing me just a little.
True, I would end up in Bethesda or Ashburn or Alexandria or Arlington... and I would be competing with traffic and walking city streets...
Not the walk that I had in mind.
It is the idea of just going... getting in a car and driving until my mind was ready to return - following any road or picking one at random just to see where it went.
Hopping the next train to anywhere and allowing it to carry me away to no where in particular. Soothing my soul with the rhythm and the motion of the cars as they travel the tracks.
But I am not sure that the idea of riding is as appealing as the desire to be in motion; to actually start moving in a direction and not stop until I was ready.
I don't think it is a desire to escape because I don't have that desire when things are hard or seem hopeless (the latter doesn't happen much, but...). Nor does it happen when I am sad or angry. More often, it is something completely abstract, the beauty of the day, the desire to stay outside rather than enter the office that reaches toward the sky and clocks the sunlight from those that work within, or a restless feeling that requires motion and action rather than sedentary confinement.
It is the idea of being a body in motion. Muscles working, lungs breathing, heart pumping. It is the desire to move! I am sure that there is a mental aspect to it as I think when I move. When my body is in motion, my thoughts can roam free, not tethered to any task or project. Mostly though, I think it is physical - simply the desire to release energy in an unconfined and unrestricted manner.
I just want to hit the road, let my feet do the walking, and my body tell me when it is time to stop, just like Forrest Gump.
6 comments:
A lot of your blogs as of late seem to relate to some restless stirring in your soul? Are you due for another vacation? A career change? A babysitter? A hot date? ;)
I know EXACTLY what you mean. It was pretty cool to find a semi-coinciding post.
I've had that feeling many, many times. Just to disappear down the road and never come back....but then again, there's this little thing called "my kid"
When the niggling stuff of life is getting to me, I often think of doing a "Thelma and Louise" — just, you know, without the dying part!
When the kid's off to college ... well, maybe we'll run into each other on the road. ;-)
Here here - it's that wanderlust that never really dies when one joins the so-called "real world" of responsibilities.
It's so wonderfully tempting, isn't it? Is there any way you could take a week away at some sort of retreat? All the pretty ones I was looking at are in the States...
Aaron - Me, restless... never! ;) Hot date... now that sounds tempting too...
Emmaenlightened - It is nice to know that I am not alone.
Doozie - Maybe it is kids that do it to us?
Kat - Ah, kid in college... I can't even imagine. But if you see some crazy lady walking down the side of the road one day... well, it might just be me!
Carrie - Now that would be heavenly. I am planning another visit to the beach this summer - hopefully that will help.
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