08 July, 2008

One of Us is Lying, in Her Lonely Bed...

When my mom said that she wanted to see the musical, Mama Mia, I didn't think twice about it.  I had heard that it was a fun show and figured that everyone would have a good time.  I mean, who doesn't like ABBA?  (I don't remember much ABBA from my childhood, but I do remember listening to it in some of the clubs in Dublin in the 1990's so was comfortable with the idea of singing along)
 
I bought the soundtrack and prepared the Diva for this musical adventure.  As you might recall, my daughter loves musicals so I had no doubt that this would be a hit. 
 
"what is it about?"
 
"It is about a girl who is getting married." I responded.  I probably should have done a bit more research as I sat in the show relating a bit more than most to the story as it unfolded on stage.  And I was not alone.  At one point, the Diva was sobbing, tears rolling down her 8 year old face.  The story line hit a bit closer to home than I had imagined. 
 
For the most part, the show was wonderful with the actors doing a great job.  We laughed, clapped, and cheered.  And then it became sad.  Although the Diva knows her dad and sees him for a few hours a month, she is very sensitive to the different nuances of my life, some of which were reflected on stage and in song.  
 
For the Diva, the tears started falling when the mother, Donna, noted how much her daughter had grown, changed, and that she would now be leaving to live her own life.  Ideas of leaving my house  or having a life beyond "mom" are challenging for the Diva.  Perhaps she is too young to see the adventure and excitement of starting a new life (for both the mother rand daughter) but she is not too young to see the sadness that the mother feels as her child spreads her wings to fly.  
 
"I am so sad for the mom," she told me as I held her and we watched.  
 
Moments later she was laughing, but her sensitivity toward the mother touched my heart.  At some point, I hope that she will learn and that I can teach her that a parent is okay without their child; that this parent (me) will be just fine as long as I know she is out there fulfilling her dreams and living her life to the best of her ability.  
 
For me, the hardest part was listening to Donna sing "One of Us" while lying in her bed.  She had come to Greece for the summer only to find herself deciding to live there permanently after discovering that she was pregnant.  She couldn't go home and give her child a full life.  She couldn't go home and face her family and their judgment.  She chose a life of hard work and parenthood, foregoing romance and perhaps love and adventure.  
 
It is the latter to which I can relate.  It doesn't happen often, but there are nights when I recognize the emptiness of my bed and the romances and adventures that I have missed.  Just as I sometimes note the freedom and opportunities that her dad enjoys.  I am glad that the Diva didn't fully understand what she was seeing as I do not want her to feel responsible (which knowing her, she might) for the choices that I have made; that her dad has made.  I have definitely foregone romance and adventure of the adult variety, and that does leave me sad sometimes.  But, I wouldn't change it nor would I choose differently knowing what I know now.  
 
That said, I am very open for romance and adventure, of the adult variety... with the guy who is willing to "Take a Chance on Me!" 
 
 
One of Us - ABBA
They passed me by, all of those great romances
You were, I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy
And so I dealt you the blow
One of us had to go
Now its different, I want you to know

One of us is crying
One of us is lying
In her lonely bed
Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting for a call
Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small
Wishing she had never left at all

I saw myself as a concealed attraction
I felt you kept me away from the heat and the action
Just like a child, stubborn and misconceiving
Thats how I started the show
One of us had to go
Now Ive changed and I want you to know

One of us is crying
One of us is lying
In her lonely bed
Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting for a call
Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small
Wishing she had never left at all
Never left at all

Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting fo
r a call

7 comments:

pisceshanna said...

Wow. I wish I lived within 600 miles of a production of "Mama Mia." That sounds like an emotional experience for a single mom and her daughter. Bravo on the post. I always like to see what may lie in store for my 2 yr old and me.

Mike said...

Wow you don't remember much ABBA. We're about the same age. I want to see the musical when it comes around again. The movie does look interesting though. Let us know how it is.

The Exception said...

Shanna - It is an amazing experience, both challenging and delightful and very emotional. I love it!

Mike - I want to see the movie!! But I would see the musical again too.

Scorpy said...

ABBA was absolutely HUGE in Australia!!! They seemed to be touring every few months

The Exception said...

Scorpy - Welcome back! They are huge here in the form of the musical and now the movie opening on the 18th.

T said...

Aw! Your diva sounds like my oldest daughter. So sensitive to the needs of others. She's only 6 (7 in September) and asks me frequently, "Mommy, are you happy?" That is her only wish for me. She's the most supportive fan in my life.

Thanks for your comments on my blog. It means a lot to get feedback from other single parents.

The Exception said...

T - She is a great kid. Never fusses when she knows that it is just the way it has to be even when she doesn't like it. Amazingly perceptive and sensative.