16 December, 2008

The Question

The question is, do I attract those men or is it those men that are drawn to me?

This is the question that has been on my mind, in a subtle sense, for the past few weeks.  Do I look for these guys?  These guys that have the same characteristics and who are not available or… is there something about me that draws them in like bees to honey?  

Is there something within each of us that continually looks for the same type of person – character wise not necessarily physically speaking?

When I asked this of a guy friend, he said, YES.  You are not exactly putting out that “I am available” vibe.  

Another furthered this idea by suggesting that men can tell that I am not sure that I want a huge, full time, 24/7 commitment.  Thus, the men that are drawn to me are those who are otherwise engaged or have a life that requires their attention as mine requires mine.  

The first also suggested that maybe I am flirt worthy and approachable from a friend stand point but not for anything else.  Which is interesting as I flirt, I am flirted with lots, and even checked out often enough.  That said, the approach rarely happens.  (Perhaps this is because I am often out with my daughter?)


Dad’s House would tell me that I need to continually ask the universe for what it is that I want… to play the game of life!

But what if what I want just isn’t feasible?  What if such a relationship is not possible?  I have a feeling that the man I want just doesn’t exist!


mama llama said...

Babe, I hear you.

Oh, my Prince is calling...speaking of feasibility. Have to wipe a butt. Isn't life FUN?

Be well, TE.

dadshouse said...

Well, what do you want? If you want a man full-time in your life, it might be best to chase men local to you. Do you ever flirt in front of your daughter?

Be happy and grateful for the thing that you want, then go about your business and it will come to you. But you have to truly believe you deserve it, and that it can happen.

T said...

Yep, DH said it best. You do have to believe that it can happen. Just don't ask how. Trust it.

But first is figuring out what exactly it is that we want?!?!

Mindy said...

I ask myself the same questions. I want to "place my order" and have it granted, but instead I end up with someone who doesn't quite fit the bill...

Scotty said...

Agree wholeheartedly with DH!

mama llama said...

Okay, finally made it back.

We have to define our variables. Just like algebra; if we don't know what we need to work with, there is no way we'll arrive at a solution.

It's much easier said than done, however.

Do you know of more of a singles hangout for coffee on Friday?! :)

Be well, TE.

Kat Wilder said...

I think with the right partner you can create the kind of relationship you want. We so often get sucked into thinking it has to look like this: man, woman, kids, house.

Why, if that's not what we want?

Bu if you're truly unsure of whether you want a "huge, full time, 24/7 commitment," then it's best that you be honest about that.

It's hard to have what you want if you're unsure about what that is. naming what you want is step No. 1...