21 April, 2009

Give and Take

One of the things I value about relationships is that give and take.  In each – regardless of the duration – we learn or we teach; we take or we give.  Sometimes we do both.  It is a wonderful thing.

In the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to consider the traits given and gained in a relationship.  I could easily list what I have gained and learned – the parts of myself that have grown and blossomed as a result of this interaction, but I found it more interesting as to what I hoped I had given; the attributes I felt I brought to the relationship. 

I could easily be funny and glib here, but this relationship calls for a more serious and introspective note. 

A few blogs talk a lot about love.  Love is acceptance and appreciation.  It is something that lives and grows within us at all times but is often something that we need to remember.  Often relationships shine light on us allowing that part of us to grow and be enriched.  But the love, the love is in us all the time.  It is not something we have to earn or deserve as it is always there.  It is unconditional. 

The other day I told my daughter “I love you – even when I am amazingly frustrated or sad.  I always love you.”  I need and want her to know, above and beyond anything else, that she never has to do anything to earn love or to deserve love.  It is hers – I love her always and forever. 

When I considered my adult relationships, I realized that as the paths altered and turned, I hoped that from me each learned about being true to one’s self.  About love being something that is not conditional but that it lives within always, and is freely given without strings or behavior requirements or monetary demands. 

I hope that my relationships demonstrate that love doesn’t have to come from one person or one relationship, but comes from within… and that a relationship enriches as it appreciates, loves, and accepts. 

Now, I don’t know what I actually bring to the table, but if I bring just a portion of any of these… I will be thrilled… and if not, then I will now have something to strive for in myself and in relationships. 


1 comment:

dadshouse said...

I totally agree that love comes from within. I don't think it has to involve acceptance and appreciation, though - giving love from a compassionate heart, even to those you disagree with, is something we can each give to everyone in the world. (My Dalai Lama tip for the day)