03 September, 2009

Summer's End

*Deep Breath*

It has been one long, and I mean long, summer!

I can’t tell you the emotions that I have worked through and confronted and accepted in the last few months.  I am not sure if I even imagined how I would get to this week, this last week of summer.  But I am here!    I am feeling more myself than I have in quite a while.  My step is lighter, my hair bouncier, my smile bright and easy, and tears aren’t hiding behind my eyes.  

The Exception is changed; the Exception  is still The Exception!!

This week the Diva is out climbing walls or rock, both in and out of the gym.  She is reaching new heights and testing both her mind and her body to see just how far she can go.  She is full of laughter and love – ready (kind of) for school to start, enjoying spending time with her grandpa (her buddy) and is preparing for a 5k.  She is one busy kid!

And while she is doing her thing, I have been drawing things to a close, working through issues, and signing documents.  I have been out of my office more than in and not sleeping more than sleeping.  I have been making difficult choices that forced me to remove the emotional and spiritual being that is my daughter for the sake of documents and logistics and equality that doesn’t consider emotional well being as an important factor.  I have been making choices that leave me uncomfortable and yet, the outcomes are enriching long term.  Letting go is never easy, especially when the situation  is uncomfortable in the very pit of my soul, and yet I trust it will all be okay!  I have accepted a lot and surrendered even more.  

*deep breath*

It has been a long summer!!

As summer (the cultural summer that is) draws to a close, there are many new beginnings in my life!!

New family to enjoy and discover and visit (and that means…travel!!) and with whom I can share this gorgeous kid of mine.  There are new open windows and doors where once walls stood.  And there is far more compassion and love in my heart than ever before.  

I haven’t been able to share much here in the last few weeks despite there being much to share.  Now, however, I can!!

There are new beginnings all around me, and sometimes they are more difficult to see than others, but…

I am excited about the future and all that it holds.    


dadshouse said...

I have accepted a lot and surrendered even more. - That's a wonderful attitude. It's like water yielding to greater forces, then surrounding that force, unperturbed.

justrun said...

I feel a sense of excitement and relief FOR you! Enjoy!