Stitching my Way to Me

Last fall I learned to crochet.  Okay, I learned two stitches and call it crocheting.  I learned two stitches that aren’t really even a part of any pattern, they are just two stitches.

Two stitches that I love.

Two stitches that have proven a meditation through the last 5 months. 

Last December I decided to try my hand at actually making something.  Making something with no pattern and with just two stitches… but making something all the same.  I believed that I had mastered these stitches to some extent and now, well, now I would like to sit and pass the time actually making a blanket. 

And I started one using yarn that was around the house. 

And I didn’t finish it because Santa Claws  brought loads and loads of new colorful yarn to our house for Christmas.  He knew that I wanted to crochet a crazy blanket full of light and color.  I wanted to work on something that was warm and full of life.   

And so, I started my crazy blanket.  It is not a pattern.  It is not all about one  color or two.  It is about lots of different yarns and variations and… it is a reflection of life I suppose in that it is not quite what one expects in a blanket, it doesn’t quite flow in color or texture, but it works. 

The other evening, as I sat crocheting and allowing my thoughts to drift and my body to relax, I caught myself smiling.  The image of a woman knitting – putting into stitches her thoughts and the history of events.  I found myself thinking of Madame Defarge from the Tale of Two Cities. 

Though I am not Madame Defarge in any sense of the character, I too have spent the last months stitching my thoughts and emotions into something larger.  Each stitch, each row, each undone and redone element – this blanket contains the essence of the challenges and experiences of the last few months.

Throughout the last few months, my hook and blanket and I have become fixtures in various lobbies.  I wait for my daughter.  I crochet.  I meditate.  I find  myself that much closer to a sense of peace. 

In the past few months, I have moved from Alice in Wonderland traveling through the rabbit hole into a fantasy world, to an image of Madame Defarge endlessly and tirelessly knitting history into her stitches, to… me!