14 September, 2010


My daughter’s father’s birthday is Thursday.  

“Perhaps I could give him this?”

“He wouldn’t like it.”

“Seriously?”  The comment caught me off guard as I know this man, and unless things have changed drastically in the past few months, he would like it.  

“It’s from you.”

And I have no answer to that.  It is a silence followed by a change of subject as there are other things to chat about, to laugh about, and to consider as we venture down the path.    


LesleyG said...

Oh, man. The things we don't know we know, until we do.
Wishing you the best!

Annie said...

wow. so there is anger/resentment from him towards you, which means there is still barely buried pain/hurt that he feels.

Now you may have hurt him -- or he may have hurt himself and not be taking responsibility.

Yet, do you want to resolve this? Are you willing to see it solely from his eyes?

What is thge purpose of the present? To show him that you are a generous or thoughtful person as evidenced by a gift -- or to heal an emotional rift still in evidence between you two -- and that comes from a change in benavior and communication backed by consistent action.

I don't know how the relationship deteriorated, so please excuse me for guessing and putting forth the above instincts.

It isn't about WHO was wrong or right, as much as IS this something you want to make right based on your knowledge of that person?

giulietta nardone said...


Sometimes there are no answers. I like that line in your post and then you move on to something else.

Letting it go feels good to me, too.

thx, Giulietta

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi TE .. an awkward situation .. and not an easy one to deal with .. perhaps just give a card .. or get your daughter to select a gift from you instead ...

Hope it all pans out ok .. I think it's life .. perhaps your daughter's reaction to a moment in his life ..

Be at peace .. Hilary

Molly @ Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce said...

I know that I am probably too late to chime in but I say a simple card expressing your appreciation for him as a dad. I had the same issue with my ex in the beginning and I found that he always responded well to cards.

Great response on your part.