I Can!! (And it doesn't have to make sense)

The sun began to lighten the sky this morning as numbers and statistics chased one another through my mind eagerly attempting to catch my attention, to tell me the stories each wants to share. 

I feel the need to pause from the numbers, from the graphs and the percentages, and the world of areas and plots and graphs.  I find myself wanting to return to the world of words, if only for a moment. 

The wall behind me is glass; one solid window from which I watched the world shiver and roll just days ago.  Though rarely here, I have come to call this office home in a way that will remain long after I walk through the door.  It is a kind of halfway house – a place between offices; a bit of a safe haven where I have found the space to remember what it is to learn, to grow, and to enjoy working.  A place where I am reminded of the wonders of people, their generosity and their quirky personalities… and where  I have been “seen.”

My time in this office is short; my days were numbered from the moment I started.  That said, I walk into a new world with the full realization that I “can…”

I can…

I am not sure that I have ever appreciated the power of those words as I do now.  It is not that I ever doubted that I could do something… it is now the realization that I “can” do it. 

A bit gray?

A little bit on the shadowy, nuanced, what in the world is she talking about… side?

When I left university I believed I could do pretty much anything in my field.  I wore confidence like a well tailored sheath.  Whether I “could” do it or not was lost in the happenings of life and the business world and the awareness that there are often other factors involved that are a bit beyond our control. 

Could I do it?  Sure, I probably could have… but I didn’t have the chance to try at times. 

And now…

Call it maturity, call it life experiences, call it finding something inside of me that is a part of me at the core over being tailored to fit…

Now I just know…

I can!