29 September, 2011

Life Happens

"I think I will come back here and go to sleep in that big chair over there.  So if I am not there to pick you up…"  
"You will be right there in that chair…"  She laughs as she says this as she knows I will be right there to pick her up when her classes are over.  She doesn't realize that I am as tired as i am or that I am having a hard time just keeping my eyes open.  The idea of another mile to walk and an hour or more of sitting with her as she does her homework is one I elect not to ponder.  It wasn't so difficult to pull long hours in the summer when the temperatures were warm and the sun shone more than not.  It is another story entirely when I leave the house in the dark and return to the house in the dark… and the temperatures are a warm muggy of late.  
But I do it; we do it.  We pull the long hours and find time to laugh in the process… and by eight at night, it doesn't take much to have us rolling on the floor in fits of giggles.  
A few years ago I felt like i ran all the time; I had no idea what it meant to run all the time!  I find myself attempting to reclaim the things that I loved (like writing) and build them into my life again.  Life is too short not to make the time to do these little things.  
In a matter of weeks, my grandfather has landed back in the hospital and a fifteen year old is going to be a father…  And each, though quite separate remind me of the way time passes.  My grandfather has lived a full life.  Now in his nineties, he is mentally ready to move on but his body is not ready to leave.  His life has come full circle.  And the boy who will soon find himself a dad… his life is in the beginning of its cycle and he will now celebrate the beginning of another life.  In both cases, these males enjoy the support of their families - each family celebrating life; each aware of the challenges.  
I sit from my chair in Starbucks and watch the sun sink behind the buildings.  One minute it is there then, suddenly, it is gone.  
And I have no clue where this post is going but I do know that the sun always reminds me of life.  i watch it rise in the morning and set in the evening; continually aware that life happens.  I can't imagine being fifteen and having a child; but I know that it happens and families make it work.  I can't imagine being in my nineties and having a stroke one day  then finding oneself and mentally aware as before but no longer able to communicate or take care of myself; but, it happens.  
The sun rises and sets and the trick is to find it within ourselves to laugh or to smile or to see the beauty of something as simple as a smile or as complex as a drop of water.  
Despite all the frustration and the anger my grandfather feels at times, he remembers how to laugh and smile.  And he is aware he is loved.  Despite the fifteen year old dad only being fifteen, he is finding acceptance and love and support within the arms of his family each of whom will celebrate this new life.  
And when my daughter comes out of class, I will be there, despite heavy eyelids and a desire to hit the sheets.  Life is short, it passes quickly, and one of my priorities is truly to see as much of its beauty as possible - and my daughter is definitely one of life's beauties!


giulietta nardone said...

Hi E,

Your blog crossed my mind today, so I stopped in. You sound like a good mother to be there for your daughter, even when tired. There's always a new day to start again ...


Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi TE .. lovely story - though with sad tinges .. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather - he'll be in his own place a great deal of the time fortunately .. life is not easy for one and all. So pleased they've both got loved ones near ... and I know you and your daughter have that special relationship .. enjoy watching your beauty and life around her unfold .. have a good weekend .. cheers and with thoughts - Hilary