It is difficult for me to get my mind around the date. It is 7 December. That's right, 7 December.
I peer along the dates of the calendar looking to find those free hours in which I will do my shopping for the holidays.
I come up blank. The schedule doesn't permit any mall times which leaves me with my best friend, the internet. I consider the options with the full realization that successful internet shopping in a limited time window requires having some idea of what one is seeking.
Again, I draw a blank. I have gone from a person that does Christmas shopping throughout the year and embraces the challenge of finding something thoughtful for everyone to, well, where I am now. There is no energy to my shopping; no ideas come flitting into my mind suggesting that they are the choice for this friend or that nephew.
Time escapes me and I find myself thinking that for some on my list, purchasing a gift is a waste of money.
I do not like that feeling at all.
I feel like the grinch. I have no desire to steel Christmas, I am just not sure that I am fully into the idea of participating this year.
Three weeks and it is over; three weeks and a new year will be on the horizon. I don't like looking to the future to find energy or optimism, but I don't like the lack of inspiration I am currently experiencing and i am not sure as to the solution.
There are few free moments between now and Christmas, and when the come, we will be operating on someone else's time.
I consider the stockings, the gifts that aren't bought and thus aren't shipped.
I look at some of the people around me and wonder just how it is that they get it all done and where they find the energy and the inspiration.
Close my eyes, count to ten, take a few deep breaths and focus. It will happen; I will create the time to make it happen.
(But if anyone has gift ideas for kids... I am all ears)