Now this is a challenge. Have you ever sat down to consider what is it that you would really and truly "require" in someone to be a friend with benefits? What are the requirements? What are the Desired Skills? Does one shoot for the ideal looking candidate; or, does one focus on the qualities, characteristics, and skill sets of the candidate?
I recently broke down and asked the mother of one of my daughter's friends if she knew any single men in our age group... she asked me what I sought outside him "not being a jerk?" Interesting, I thought (and I sent her a list) do we truly want these qualities, or in the end, does it turn out to be the person... faults and all, that captures our attention? I can list a few qualities that I find attractive and describe the ideal friend, but...if I were to meet him, would I actually like him? Would we "click?" Does the "real" guy out do the "ideal" every time simply because he has a combination of qualities that work?
These are the requirements I mentioned to her:
Sense of humor (don't we all want this? A man with a whit, good use of word play, command of the language... and who can banter with the best of us...that's a good start)
Passion: (and I don't mean in the bedroom only (though this is very nice)) A man who has a passion for life. It is often subtle and really not something you can put your finger on, but passion attracts passion, even in close friendships (in my experience)
Confident and self assured without being cocky: I know that this is difficult for most men to pull off thus, it requires an exceptional man!
But hey, at the end of the day, I am open to the possibilities...
7 comments:
Can I add 'employed' to the list? Recently I've discovered that there is no charm in dating a man who does not want a job. It's like dating a man who doesn't like kissing. Or "the office". No good.
Great point. We can add that to the list.
You know, I AM going to be in NY next week. If you bring me an application, I'll fill it out on the spot!
Or... you could apply as a post. Very interesting idea. Who knows, you might just get several women applying to be your "friend!"
Hm... can I add 'polite' to the list? Some FWB often forget the 'friend' part of the equation... ie forgetting that it's a mutual agreement for mutual benefit?
Hmmmm...not bad, but a little public for my tastes....
Sigh... Carrie, good point. That is a post in itself.
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