31 May, 2007

China doll? Velveteen rabbit?

Some women naturally have it; some don't. I am one of those who doesn't. I can not pretend to be something I am not, even for the sake of a man. Yes, this might explain why I am not married; but it also may explain why I am not sure that I want to be married!

Mr. Write Now posted about women treating men like a king (at least in the bedroom). I just can't do it. Sorry guys, that isn't the way I work or play. Similarly, I do not wait for a man to fix this or that, perform household repairs, or "save the day."

I have had friends who inspire women and men to protect them as if they are precious, priceless, china dolls that will break with the slightest hint of a problem. Of course, these women will not break. yet, we, including me, behave as if they will.

Then there are others, like me, who are probably a bit too independent for the average man. Like my friend who would not tell men where she worked or what she did because it had created an awkward situation in her past.

men are not, repeat that... NOT, inspired to protect me, save me, take care of me, or anything of the sort. They are often most inspired to banter, befriend, or simply accept my independence and move on. In frequently I will meet a man who enjoys being my equal and finds my qualities (intellectual and personality wise that is) desirable and wishes to hang around. I have yet to meet a man who has determined it worth while to go toe to toe with me out of a desire to be the yin to my yang; the salt to my pepper .

I accept who I am. I like who I am and wouldn't change if I could. And yet, I do wonder what it is to have the men fawning over me in a desire to please, to protect, to serve.

I am not a china doll. I would not look good on a pedestal. I like living life with the masses, getting my hands dirty, exploring the world around me, making mistakes and riding the rollercoaster that is life. I like being one of the guys. I honestly don't know what I would do if some guy truly tried to be my hero. I would rather he be my friend and lover.

I like being the velveteen rabbit.


Beth said...

I love your analogy of the China doll and the Velveteen rabbit!

And I agree with you 100%!

Mike said...

To thine own self be true. Be yourself and that fella will soon arrive.

cathouse teri said...

You are a darling velveteen rabbit! I am also not the kind that men want to protect. Generally, I'm just the kind they want to fuck.

Which is fine with me.

I am much averse to being married again. The man I married was so opposite of the word protective, that I realized all these years later that virtually every terrifying situation I was ever in, he put me in! I am now not afraid of anything. Seriously. Not a single thing.

Except to find myself married again.

Fuck the idiots that can't see what a prize you are. One will show up someday. He will be your treasure, and you will be his.

TAG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TAG said...

Not all men need or want a China Doll. I find strong women interesting, alluring and exciting. Now that doesn't mean I am a wimp wanting women to save me. Far from it. I have a fairly strong personality myself. But a partnership (either in bed, in business or in life) has to be just that, a Partnership.

Who needs someone you have to constantly pamper and treat with kid gloves? Not me. I prefer a woman who believes in speaking her mind and letting me do the same.

I've been in a situation where I was expected to know her every mood and whim without any feedback from her. Let me tell you, that sucks.


brookem said...

i enjoyed this a lot!
i agree with mike- you just keep being your fabulous self, and the RIGHT man will come along. not that we NEED a man.
the qualities you mentioned are all very honorable and they're what make YOU you. and you rock! so don't ever question yourself and your independence!

TxGambit said...

I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I can be strong and independent but I don't mind being taken care of either. And, truly like it when someone does.

Good post.

The Exception said...

Beth - Thanks! I love the idea of being so loved. I love the story as well. Everyone needs such a bunny.

Mike - I am nothing but true to myself. I don't think I could be anything else.

Teri - A very sexual rabbit, but possibly darling, yep, that could be me! ;) If nothing else Teri, and I don't truly know you, but you seem like a tough and yet amazingly strong and sexy lady. You are awesome.

TAG - I agree with the notion of partnership. I think that there is give and take and strength in each partner as well as weakness. And you are right, we are very interesting and stimulating women.

Brookem - Thanks! I don't want to be any different than I am. That said, I do wonder what it is like to be different.

TXGambit - We are all so very different and need such different things. Although I am very independent, I have to admit that there are times when I want nothing more than to be held against a strong masculine chest and told that everything is going to be okay etc.