25 May, 2007

We All Need It (at least I do)

But apparently some women don't.

This is something I have never understood. In my twenties the news circulated that women hit their sexual peak in their early thirties. I could not imagine what my life would be like in my thirties given my desires in my late twenties; how could it get better than that?

I Should have paid much more attention in my late twenties and enjoyed myself much more as it didn't get better. My drives and desires didn't diminish; the time I had to enjoy them did. Now, some women, in my situation, would have simply given up. After all, when does a single working mother have the time or energy to engage in such activities? But I am, after all, "The Exception!" This was not something I was willing to lose without a fight! Sure I don't have time to enjoy myself as much as I would like (and honestly, men my age don't have that kind of time either in my experience - or the energy) but I was willing to give up frequency to ensure consistency and quality.

I have, with great effort at times, managed to maintain this aspect of my life. Thankfully as I am a real witch without it. Given its importance in my life, I have that much more difficulty understanding why women choose to let this part of their life end. But they do. I know a woman who has chosen to end that part of her life completely - and she is not yet 40, is married to a gorgeous guy, and he is still attracted to her and they love one another. She stopped shortly before the birth of her youngest child (who is now eight) saying that she is just too busy and tired with the kids and the house. Who knows. I know that I could not choose to live like that.

Despite the physical pleasure, for me it is also time to be a woman, an adult, and express a part of me that goes without expression throughout most of my daily life. There are so many things that mark adulthood for me: working, mortgage, parenthood, and other forms of responsibility. one of the most pleasurable aspects of being an adult is enjoying sex in all its simple; complex; creative; passionate; demanding; gentle; primal; and emotional forms.

21 comments:

cathouse teri said...

Mmmm... sex!

I'm gonna have me some this weekend, tonight even!

And now they tell you it's in your forties that you hit your sexual peak. I am sure they have no clue as to when a woman hits her sexual peak. I've been in mine since I was eighteen.

The Exception said...

Teri, you may have just made my day! I would love to hit it in my 40's - more importantly, I would love to have the time to enjoy it regardless of when it hits!

Eric said...

They cut sex off and wonder why they are cheated on!!! Dumbasses.

Secondly, for the past two days you have been discussing something sexual, in however its form, still sexual. It has brought me to the conclusion that either a) You seriously in need of sex and it is driving you crazy, or b) You are getting some major sex and are smiling and can not stop talking about it.

So with all that said, which would it be? If it is b), then GREAT I hope it continues...Now, if it is a, then I would be more than glad to volunteer to help you correct this issue and live a happy sexual life. ;-) (come on, tell me you did not see that one coming).

You me and sex!!!! ;-)

Carrie said...

Mmhm... I know I've heard about the tiredness that comes with adult life, and I've heard about it affecting the sex life, but until now did it actual hit me - that is, after reading how you worded it.

It's a challenge, I guess, trying to fit in SO much with only so many hours of energy, real or superficial... hm..

The Exception said...

Eric - I don't truly understand women who do that, but a number of them do. It boggles my mind.

& ;)

It is spring fever I guess - I can stop writing about it if you like. (or not)


Carrie - I have known couples to have "date" night, etc. It, perhaps, takes more planning. The reality is that it is couple dependent. To me, sex is important for many reasons. To others with families, it may not be. Enjoy being in your early 20's. These are all things to consider, but you will figure out what is best for you.

Ba Doozie said...

I think cutting your spouse off from sex is a recipe for disaster. She is not thinking clearly and is actin selfish. she will be sorry


I never enjoyed sex for numerous years. I was just having it with the wrong guys.

Eric said...

So is that an A)?

brookem said...

i couldn't agree more. the story about the woman with the 8 year old son who has "let that part of her life go" made me sad. i could never do it. like you, i think it's just so important in a relationship. good for you lady for being "the exception!" :)

cathouse teri said...

eric, methinks thou dost protest too much!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Loaded topic. Possibly it gets better for us because of a greater sense of comfort with self. I don't buy the biological no more kids deal--hell, you can get pregnant in your 40s and it may be the last thing you are looking for. I think of sex when I was a teenager and my early twenties and it just seemed like such a pain in the ass. I don't ever remember liking it or understanding it. I don't miss those days.

guygm said...

Hey there! Thanks for visiting my blog. I read this post and it was really interesting to hear the other side of the story. If it is ok and respectful to say, I did appreciate (not in a sleazy way I swear) what you wrote about enjoying err that stuff (I can't say sex bc I am an uptight Protestant). Anyway, hope you are doing well,

GuyGM

The Exception said...

Ba Doozie - Thanks for visiting. The men involved truly can make a significant difference.

Enemy - Pregnancy in one's 40's does not sound fun to me though I know many women who start their families in their forties.

Guygm - You can say "sex" here, I won't tell!

The Exception said...

Brookem - Thanks! This woman does lead me to wonder how many women give it up and why?

Ryan said...

For what it's worth.... it's all about who you are having sex with. I know of women who disliked love making in their younger years, but once with the right partner, enjoyed it much more - despite the fact they were out of thier "prime" years.

Sex is always good, but making love is what it's all about.

Thanks for stopping by.... I'll be back in a few months.

guygm said...

Hi Exception,
So I know I don't know you and I am being a 35 year old sappy idiot but can I ask a question of an unbiased rational woman (that's you :) )....

When a woman breaks up with a guy... Is it respectful and ok to try and pursue her afterwards? Don't want to be a stalker of course... I mean what are the rules? First time in my life I have ended a relationship and wonder how to win her back...

GuyGM

TxGambit said...

I cannot understand not having sex! I have got to have it to function normally or at least gotta take matters into my own hands when I can't get it.

Time, kids, house, work... It does make it hard, especially for single folks, but any chance I get, I'm sooo there.

:)

guygm said...

Thanks for the kind response! I appreciate your very good advice...

Well, hope things are going well for you. Wonder why the mind works such that you can be in love with a woman when she isn't with you. Why isn't there a natural balance in life where you can only love those who love you back...

Oh well,

GuyGM

Mike said...

I think people just think it's going to happen. Like free time. However if you don't make time for it, it will never happen. Allows you to see where your priorities are and if you'll make time for what's important.

Princess Banter said...

Oooh yeah, let's not forget the priorities ;)

MrWriteNow said...

OK, so how do I find someone JUST like you Ex?

The Exception said...

Tx gambit - For me it is a priority. Kids, work, house - I just need it all the more.

Mike - It is definitely about priorities. I find it sad when a couple doesn't have a similar set of priorities, especially when they love one another etc.
Princess Banter - I am with you 100%!

Mr WriteNow - I am the one and only!