12 June, 2007

Her Moment

Is Daddy going to be there when we get home?"
"I don't think so sweetie. He will come later."

On the days that daddy comes, the diva is overjoyed. It is something she looks forward to all day if not all the previous week. She counts down the days then waits at the window. Every few minutes she asks "Where is he?"

For two weeks she has been planning father's day.

"Can we give him his presents today?"
I am puzzled. "It isn't close to father's day."
"I know but you said next time he came over, we would give him his gifts."
"I probably did, but I haven't bought them yet."
"Okay, we will just give him the things I made"
"Didn't you do that after Mother's day?"
"I mean the cards I made in art for him."

These evenings are a mixed blessing for me. I do not, in any sense of the word, keep him from spending time with her or seeing her. I would love them to spend more time together and encourage him to do so. He just doesn't. Other commitments, other obligations, another life that doesn't involve her.

I love seeing them together and watching them have fun. And yet, I know that she will be sad when he leaves. She will again start asking when he is next visiting. Then it will be "what time?"

She expects and wants so little from him. "I love Daddy - dinner and jokes" she tells me. For her, this is what Daddy is about.

For an hour once a month she is Cinderella. But like happens in all good fairy tales, the clock strikes and the coach turns back into a pumpkin. The magic ends.


Eric said...

Poor thing, it is too bad he does not take a more active role in her life.

My son understands, his mom does not take a very active roll in her life. Although, he is not as into his mom as your little one. He just likes going to moms because that is where his brother is. But he always loves coming back home.

Leiselb said...

Oh your poor princess...I'm teary eyed for her! And for the agony you must feel in watching this....

Beth said...

That makes me very sad for her and very grateful that I had a dad who was there every night.
But, no matter what, your daughter is so very loved and you are a great mom!

cathouse teri said...

Daddy's often have no idea how important they are to their daughters.

Fortunately, daughters are very forgiving and they love them to the end. Just as they are.

Scotty said...

Does he know all of this? I wonder if he would be different if he knew how much he meant to her. But then again, some people don't change.

surfercam said...

It is hard for them. I left my partner a few years back when our little girl was about 2 years old.
Seeing her so upset whenever I wasn't around, that I decided to come home and try and make it work.

guygm said...

Oh my gosh... This post was so heartbreaking...



Ba Doozie said...

I don't know the history here, but it is true that it takes sooooo little effort for a dad to make his little girl happy..it baffles me the dad does not see the treasure before him. I want to clobber him over the head

cathouse teri said...

... with a tampon.

JustRun said...

I can't imagine that feeling. I have to be honest, it makes me sad.

justacoolcat said...

She's lucky she has a great mom and when she grows up that is what she'll remember.

The Exception said...

Eric - Kids are resilient. At least your son as you and he is happy being "home" with you.

LeiselB - I think it is harder on me than her because she doesn't know any different.

Beth - I have a dad like yours in the sense that he was and is always there. Being a Daddy's girl myself, this experience has been and is quite challenging.
Teri - You are so right. Why is it that some men don't grasp their importance?

Scotty - He and I are very open and honest with one another, so, he knows. He read the post before I put it up.

Surfercam - Is the Monkey happier now? Is it working for you?

GuyGM - It is sad, but she is a very well adjusted and happy kid - extremely loved, outgoing, a bit precocious, and just fabulous!

Ba Doozie - I have that same feeling!! My sentiments exactly - though I have never clobbered him over the head, with a tampon as Teri suggests.. that might knock some sense into him! :) (Thanks)

Just Run - It makes me sad as well.

Justacoolcat - Thanks - I hope that she remembers that she has a great mom when she is spending thousands of dollars in therapy blaming me for everything! :) Just joking - she is determined that we will be together forever. She is my biggest fan; and I am hers!

surfercam said...

Yes she is.
But I'm not.

brandy said...

Oy! That would be so tough to witness but at least she's got a good mama at her side making her feel good and at the end of the day, I strongly believe that one amazing parent can do the work of two parents who aren't as 'in tune' with their children- and it sounds like you are. She's a lucky girl!

The Exception said...

Surfercam - That is tough.

Brandy - Thanks. Sometimes I need to hear things such as this as I wonder if she is truly going to be okay - ya know?