Ever have really close friends that are men? Ever tell them that you love them? I have not. It is not that I don't love them, as (and only as) friends, but I would never tell them "I love you," because I know that the relationship would be drastically altered forever. Nothing would ever be the same!
It isn't that these aren't bright guys. They are. It is simply that they can not get their mind around the reality that they can "love" a friend and that "love" in this context does not mean romance, marriage, commitment, expectation. It simply states, I care about you. They see no reason to vocalize that as they know it to be true. Words are simply not necessary.
These guys like things just the way they are. Our friendship offers them a situation in which they can be completely and 100% themselves - expected only to be themselves.
What is about men and the "l" word that brings them to a state of panic and anxiety? Have women tortured these poor beings relentlessly with expectations and conditional acceptance/love? Did we, as a species, at any time tell them that once the "l" word is mentioned, everything changes?
I do hope that I am exaggerating.
But am not sure that I am.
I have had man a many tell me things that he would not tell the woman that he loves for fear that she would... not love him anymore? Leave? Think worse of him for being himself? When does love take on the guise of restriction, judgment, expectations? Why is it easier to have a meaningful and close friendship with a member of the opposite sex than to actually "love" them?
is it the idea of "commitment?"
Female friends say it to one another all the time.
No worries guys. Everything is status quo. I don't "love" you. That would be, well, silly! But I am curious as to why the idea of "love" between friends is... unspeakable.
For men, I guess it is just stating the obvious?