Get a group of moms together and they gush, complain, vent, and do a lot of talking about their kids. Get a group of men together and kid talk is not heard as much. It doesn't mean that fathers love their kids any less just that they express themselves differently, and probably don't do their "expressing" with the guys!
One of the things I have found most enjoyable about the blog world is that men freely talk about and share their thoughts and feelings about their kids. Some do it through comedy, other share events, and still others share their emotions. There are stay at home dads, soon to be dads, men talking about future children, and men who just love their kids as honestly and warmly as they can.
Don't get me wrong, these guys don't gush. They are not overly sappy or sentimental. They are genuine in their feelings and express themselves wonderfully - whether it be funny, loving, emotional...it is all well done.
For me, it is wonderful to see men interact and talk bout their kids. I work with lots of guys and, guess what, they don't talk much about their kids unless they are asked directly etc.
The other day I read this. As usual from this dad, it was well written and delightful to read. I also read one of the comments that hinted at the negative statistics regarding girls who do not enjoy the love of their dad.
The comment did not surprise me as I believe that a father's love is as important to a child as the mother's love. I have also worked with stats and understand how they work. The comment did leave me wondering just what a father's love includes or means.
As a single mother with a girl, the role of "dad" is one that I consider at some level each day of the week. I grew up with a dad as did every woman in my family (and there were/are lots of them) The Diva is the first girl or child to grow up without a dad in the house or as a part of her daily life. I often wonder what the impact of that will be.
That said, she is loved by her father. He might not see her often or attend performances etc. He does not know her little personality quirks or her buttons. He does, however, love her.
A parent loves in so many ways. For some it is actions, others it is words. Some do it daily while others do it part time, and others do it from afar. Does the proximity of the parent to the child indicate the amount of love given, felt, or shared?
Redefining "daddy" was a challenge that I faced when I discovered I was pregnant. The challenge is less now but it has not been eliminated completely. "Daddy" for me, means something completely different than the "daddy" that loves the Diva and who she loves in return. Does it mean that She is loved less? Does it mean all the negatives that statistics indicate?
I would love to have answers to those questions, but I am not sure that there are any, and they are most likely situational at best.
I do all that I can to ensure that the Diva is balanced, well adjusted, happy, and very loved. The job is made that much easier because she is an amazing kid. Despite my neighbors attitude, I do not think that there is such a thing as a perfect family, an ideal parent-child relationship, or that we can have all the answers to all the questions when we want them. I do believe that the Diva is loved, confident, self assured, and hope that she is getting all that she needs to live a full life.