02 August, 2007

Journey through Murky Waters

I am sitting at my desk typing. My eyes keep glancing to my left where the book lies, taunting me with its plain blue cover and thousands of pages that require my attention.

I am not participating in its little game. I refuse to be drawn into the challenge that it presents. I am very happy avoiding the task that it represents.

Normally I embrace challenge. I like digging my teeth into something new and overcoming all obstacles to complete the challenge.

But not this time.

You see this book is not written in English. It is written in a language that I do not speak. In order for me to fully grasp the contents of this book, I would have had to attend a special school for three years. People, I did not do that. I chose to obtain an MA over a JD. That's right, this book is written for those who speak the language of the law.

I am not one of those people.

An attorney informed me that having me with my "normal" brain do this is not an efficient use of time or money.

Yes, I know that. That said, I do not have an attorney on staff to do it for me.

My task is to go through this volume, dated 2003, and determine which of the resources used to build the book have been updated. If those resources have been updated, I need to site the most up-to-date version so that we can demonstrate a need to create a new version of the book.

Usually this isn't difficult. It is time consuming, but not difficult.

Intuitively I know that the book is out of date. I can point to Federal guidance and plans that, all by themselves, create a need for making this book more current.

But no, I have to put on my hip boots and make my way through the mud and the murky waters that make up US Code.

If you ever find yourself truly bored, and I mean, honestly and truly bored,(or perhaps suffering from a truly bad case of insomnia) try and read US Code in its original form.... then attempt to read it amended.
Once you do that, you will find that there may be a reason that attorneys make a percentage of the high salaries that they do. (Note, I said a percentage as there is no real reason they make the whole salary outside the reality that they give up a large percentage of their personal time for the love of law)

Anyway, I truly need to embrace this challenge.

If you don't hear from me in a few days, know that I am lost somewhere in the pages of this book. My mind is no longer functioning. It is spinning and tied in knots trying to determine what this and that Amendment really mean and whether roar not they are worth figuring out. I will need to be rescued post haste.


Airam said...

OH I feel for you. I had to read and summarize a 40 page case on tax law and education and I just about died. I got the education part (I'm a teacher) but the law part went right over my head.

Beth said...

That sounds excruciating. After that you finish, be sure to give yourself a reward and pamper yourself. Sometimes a prize at the end makes the task less horrible.

AaroN said...

I don't read/write legalese either.

Scotty said...

Urgh... I have to deal with the 'code' some... Not a big fan of having to read a sentence 8 times over, because it is written so cryptically to say something as simple as 'dave crossed the road'.

The Exception said...

Airam - Hey there! Law is bad enough but tax law is... beyond horrible. I did not do the law work with as much depth as I would have liked due to time and lack of knowledge.

Beth - I am thinking a nice big bowl of ice cream of a chocolate or peanut butter variety. A treat and something to help me deal with the heat!

RON - Legalese should be illegal!

Scotty - If they didn't write in such a way, anyone could do their job (with less education then they get) and we would all be able to see exactly what the law says. ;)

Willow said...

Uggh, my head hurts just thinking about what you have to do! I think a treat at the end is just rewards:) Although a massage by a nice hunky masseuse would be nice too!

JustRun said...

I don't have much law brain, either. And I'd probably have even less after reading that.
Good luck to you!

Seven Seas said...

Leagalese- twisting normal English into a form not comprehendable to the common person.

cathouse teri said...

Damn those taunting books! :)

Steph said...

God speed my friend. If we don't hear from you in a week or two we'll send a search party.

The Exception said...

Willow - I wish I had the treat I wanted. My head was in such pain last night that the treat was simply... sleep.

Just Run - Thanks. I don't know why I torture myself with such projects.

Teri - Damn book anyway!

Seven Seas - very eloquently stated. Maybe you could rewrite the laws so that we could enjoy reading them.

Steph - As long as the rescue party includes some truly attractive men with great hair and Australian accents... I will make sure to get lost!