On Saturday my life took a turn, king of.
The ballet instructor asked if the Diva could come in and assist with either of the other two classes below her level. "I need someone to show them the way it is done."
"I don't know that I can get her here on time due to her bus schedule..."
"It's ok if she is late."
Thus, the Diva is going to change into her ballet uniform before dismissal this afternoon. We will rush to ballet for her to help with the class that she participated in, as a student, last year. I think she will be there for 30 minutes and then will roll directly into her class.
For the Diva, this is an honor. She loves to help the instructor. Her current class is quite large with five new girls with less dance experience. Helping with another class is, we think, an attempt for her to understand that her skill is recognized - to maintain her confidence.
But, despite her love for ballet, the Diva is not sure she wants to help with this class as she is tired after school and has not yet adjusted to the new schedule. She is going to give it a good faith effort this week.
Since Saturday, I have been considering the turn of events. I think it is wonderful that she has been asked to assist. I will do what I can to ensure that she arrives timely etc, but... I am also aware that it is a decision that the Diva needs to make.
Dancing is her dream; supporting her to fulfill her dreams, whatever they might be, is my dream. Ensuring that she realizes that I will support her choices is the challenge. I do not want her to dance because she doesn't want to disappoint me.
I have witnessed parents, from all over the country, fulfilling their dreams through the lives of their children. Vicarious dream fulfillment I suppose. I do not want to find myself trapped in this concept or pattern.
I never dreamed of dancing, never dreamed that my daughter would want to dance professionally, and have times when I can see the down side of her choosing such a career. But does she see the difference between my supporting her dreams and ensuring she has what she needs to attempt to fulfill them and the idea that she is fulfilling my dreams?
The challenge is helping her to see that dancing is something she loves - and if she decides that she doesn't want to do it anymore, then I am completely ok with that decision. She has her own life and her own dreams - just as I had and have mine. I am ready to support all of her dreams - whether or not they involve ballet slippers, pointe shoes, or tutus!
7 comments:
It's so good to hear you recognize that. She will thank you for it, now and later.
It's good that you are supporting her dreams, so much better than forcing her to live yours.
You smart lady you :)
SO good that you are supporting her dreams, were your parents like this with you?
I feel like giving you the biggest hug ever for being so down to earth, smart and just you! Its so great that you want her to be herself, follow her own dreams and not push her towards anything more than she is ready to handle.
Great post...it sort of fits in with my 'Dreams' post of last week. My LLs play field Hockey, Tennis and then some school sports (Netball and Soccer)...then eldest LL has Guitar etc. We are flat out keeping up with them but as long as they are happy with what they do then their Mum and I support them. They are having fun and that makes me happy if not a little exhausted on weekends :)
I always supported my parents' dream to leave home, but they didn't want me thinking they were doing it for me.
Either that or they were aware my dreams revolved around the booze cabinet and showing girls their big bed.
Just Run - I try. Sometimes it is a little difficult to remember that her dreams can change. As adults we strive to achieve and do what it takes to fulfill where kids are kids with the time to dream and change their minds. I have to remind myself that it is her dream and my role is support not ensure that it happens!
T-Shirt - I try!! And it helps to see other parents doing this and that and read the experiences of those who have already been where I am now! many good moms from which to learn.
Scotty - Yes, my parents supported a lot. They truly did put a lot into supporting my dreams and desires. In retrospect, I wonder if my brother would say the same.
Ruby - Thanks!!! I love hearing things like this! (Your check is in the mail)
Scorpy - As long as they are happy and not stressed (which is happening to many US kids these days - and its sad) You are one of those parents that I look at and think - wow, he needs a cape!
And your dream post stuck in my head for various reasons.
Wombat - Your parents knew what they were dealing with in the likes of you!! ;)
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