She stands at the mirror... primping. The sounds of happy hour upstairs filter through the walls. The Diva is dashing around the restroom in typical energizer bunny fashion. She is ready to go. I slowly wash my hands and note the differences between her and I - the woman who looks good and yet primps while I... I am dressed like a mom in jeans and turtle neck with hair a mess. In the few minutes that we stand there, sharing a sink, I see my past and wonder if perhaps I should be primping, minimally appearing to try to catch the attention of a guy or to look my best. I wonder if she glances at me and thinks about her future?
I remember spending time in front of the mirror attempting to get everything right, every hair in its place etc. I was convinced that I never looked as perfect as I would like - and that, to some extent, it mattered.
Now I spend very little time in front of a mirror. My attempts to look good rely completely on a great hair cut, well chosen clothes, and a pair of heels. I think very little about my appearance.
Why?
Did something change when I became a mother?
Suddenly I had less time, but is there more to it than that?
I have a kid so... the desire to attract a man with whom I can build a family has diminished. I am no longer a member of the "desiring a mate" community - I do not partake in the mating rituals.
But that doesn't seem like a good reason to just not put much effort into my appearance?
Perhaps it is that I now understand that it didn't matter how much effort I put into my appearance, in the end, I am who I am. Sure, it is fun to look nice, smell nice, and dress to impress... but it is also nice to find your style and wear it well. There is something about knowing that whatever I might wear is complementing all that lies beneath - that at the end of the day, it is me that is the draw... not the heels, the dress, or the fabulous hairs style.
But still...
I could put a bit more effort into it? I could try a little harder? I could devote a little more time into featuring the product rather than relying upon its qualities to be noticed by themselves.
Hum...
I will take it under advisement!
10 comments:
I love the line "Perhaps it is that I now understand that it didn't matter how much effort I put into my appearance, in the end, I am who I am."
So true. That attitude also tends to make people look great in jeans and a turtle neck.
You know, there's something distinctly appealing about having folks react to you without any of the primping. Perhaps the knowledge that you are who you are without it is what makes you so comfortable in your own skin
TE — the only person you should ever primp for (or not) is you. When you feel good in whatever you're wearing (and especially when you're not wearing anything!), then you can't help but feel good — and confidence is the most powerful magnet.
That said, I pretty much always go with heels.
you know, a lot of women would argue that they want to look good only for themselves, because that's just who they are. It has nothing to do with attracting someone. Personally, I wouldn't argue that, I think it's codswallop but a great many women do argue that. So with that in mind NOT primping because it's who you are and because you're doing it for you totally works too. Just do what you seriously WANT to do.
Maybe when you are a teenager and into your twenties, you think looks matter above substance. I suppose at that age this may be true. But once you get beyond that, you figure out looks only get you so far. At a certain age men will understand substance and intellect are what matter. No amount of hairspray, perfume or lipstick can hide flawed character. Likewise there is no turtleneck that goes high enough to cover class. Class shows regardless of clothes or makeup.
TAG
Mmhm; I've always felt that too much make up was dishonest; because it eventually has to come off. Might as well show who you really are and be loved for it than create a facade and have people love that...
I have seen many women who put too much attention into looking just so when they really are quite beautiful in their most natural appearance. Keep that in mind, too ;-)
I say that you dress (and look) in what makes you feel comfortable. Someone that is in jeans and a t-shirt that is comfortable, and confident, is much better than someone clearly not comfy with being fully primped and dressed. Its all about how you feel, and the moment when getting ready. I mean, sometimes you just feel like dressing up, or dressing down.
It is an interesting topic. The idea to dress how we want to dress without dressing for others (though sometimes that can be fun too...) Whether it be in heels or sneakers - dresses or slacks... or jeans... I suppose that the key is being comfortable in one's skin, regardless of the clothes that are worn!
You forgot the low-cut blouse. :P
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