For a very short time, I lived in San Francisco. On one of my flights through SF, I sat next to a man slightly older than myself who was, to be frank, quite chatty.
Mind you, I am not a chatty person at the best of times when I fly, and I often, to never, am chatted with on a flight. But this man did not detect my "look don't touch" demeanor. Or he chose to ignore it.
I learned, on this fairly short flight, that this man was legally blind. Now, that means that his vision was worse than 20/200 or 20/300, I am not sure.
Most of his conversation was about his professional experiences and the advantages of being visually disabled in the working world. But he said something else that I found absolutely fascinating... (This is not a direct quote as the conversation was years ago, but his thought stayed with me)
Due to my vision, I can't see what women look like. I find them all beautiful.
I don't remember commenting because I wasn't sure what the intent of the statement was as he was a man, just older than my 23 year old single self. But the thought has stayed with me.
We live in a very visual world. Many people are dependent upon their vision for the littlest and the biggest things. My daughter is totally lost if she can't "see" to do something - not relaxing enough to consider that she might be able to do it by touch or sound or smell.
The media is loaded with visual images of beauty. As women, (and men) we focus on our look; how we appear to the same sex and those we are attempting to attract. We spend money and energy ensuring that our "look" is just right for others and for ourselves.
And yet, for those who can't see, like this man, all women are beautiful. The effort each makes is a bit lost on him.
For him, a woman is about everything BUT the way she looks - the way her body curves and her clothes fit. The beauty of the person is what he sees.
I find myself wondering how it would be to be involved with such a person; with a person for whom the visual is completely irrelevant.
9 comments:
I'm thinking it might level the playing field a bit there as those of us who are the "have nots" in the appearance department, as long as we have the "personality quotient" needed anyway, would perhaps have an chance to get into the game a little bit then. Just my humble opinion there.
That is one smart man.
Obviously, he wasn't married....
Oh, OK, just kidding!
They do say that love is blind, and that explains couples who are mismatched in the looks department and couples who are polar opposites in temperament.
So some of us are able to see through the media images of what equals beauty and find the unique beauty in the person, whatever that is. Thus, making us all a little "blind." I wouldn't want to be with a man who couldn't do that, you know?
I think it could be very liberating in so many ways.
...being involved with someone like that.
I have actually had this conversation with someone, a girlfriend of mine. We were half joking, I guess, but have both wondered what it would be like dating someone that couldn't see you. Or, even more, if you couldn't see them.
Jeni - The wise person looks beyond the outside... personality really is everything.
Wombat - I am sure that the woman he married was a lucky lady... and I have a feeling that he dated attractive women; the women other men won't talk to because of their great looks!
Kat - Too true. I wouldn't want to be one who didn't see the person beyond the looks.
Emma - liberating but potentially challenging because we focus so much attention on how we look?
JR - Interesting that you had chatted about something similar. It left me wondering how much attention we place on something that is the dressing rather than the meat?
That is really food for thought..on so many levels. I have had relationships with men who i visually werent interested in, or attracted too, and fallen madly in love with them because of who they were.And been with men who were physically stunning, but got totally turned of by their behavoiur, so beauty is really in the "eye" of the beholder.
Something tells me that you'd enjoy dating a "hands-on" kinda guy. ;)
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