Every time I turn on the radio of late, I seem to hear the song, More Than Words. Not that I am complaining as I happen to like the song, but... every time? For someone who doesn't believe in coincidence, I am beginning to wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something. Perhaps it is just that I need more than words these days.
The Diva is one of those people who likes to say "I love you." I hear this wonderful sentence numerous times a day. I love hearing the words and yet, there are times when I just wish she would show me that she loves me rather than saying that she does.
So we have talked about all the ways that people show love to one another (okay, not all the ways) and the importance of demonstrating love in addition to saying it.
Hugs - definitely a means of people demonstrating love
Listening - Again a nice way that people tell us they love us is by giving us their attention and listening to what we say (not preparing their response while we are in the midst of our statement)
Time - Time spent together
Back rubs or foot massages - Both of which are definitely things that say "love"
Shelter, food, water, medicine, protection, helping around the house etc...
These are things that we discussed; things that we can do for one another that tell us that we are loved.
I didn't want to discourage my daughter from expressing her feelings, just to point out that there are other ways of doing it. After all, love is one of those words that is an action, an idea, a choice, an emotion... it can be expressed in so many different ways. Learning to communicate feelings is important - and to be able to do it with honesty and sincerity - either through action or words...
sometimes love is more than words...
Sometimes a warm hug can speak volumes...
Yet sometimes, those three words mean more than a silent demonstration ever could.
6 comments:
I think thats one thing that can vary person to person. Some people say it, some show it, some both, some neither. In varying degrees of course.
Myself, I am more of a shower than a sayer.
So often "I love you" is a throw away, obligatory end of a conversation between lovers, spouses, parents/children. Demonstation, subtle or otherwise is much better.
Scotty - I could make a comment about the "shower" but I won't... ;)
I think that it is nice to know how to communicate it in various ways but I agree, it is an individual thing.
Dave - I hear that. My mom says it at the end of every phone conversation. For her, it is just part of saying good bye. Then there are those that feel it but don't know when or how to say it.
i think there needs to be a good balance.
funny thing- a guy i dated in college, "our song" used to be alison kraus' (sp?) "you say it best when you say nothing at all"... then ironically, when we broke up, i would keep hearing the "more than words" song, and that was one of the main reasons why we didnt work. he would often SAY he loved me, but i felt like he didnt show it enough.
it's a tricky balance!
To me, the words only mean something if they're supported by action. It's so simple and yet, so difficult for some.
I remember the time in my life when I figured out that "I love you" followed by not calling me for a week was not actually love. Boy does it feel good to know that, even still.
Brookem - It is a balance, that is what I want her to learn. Sometimes I think that the only way to learn such lessons is through living and loving... but perhaps if she has a good background in seeing and giving love in different ways, she will have a head start.
(I like the way you told your situation. Music is just... amazing sometimes and can be so telling and timely)
JR - There is another song that I love by Clint Black... I think it is called "Love is something that we do" but I am not totally sure. For such a small word, it can create such big challenges!
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