Where is the ideal first date?
Long gone are the days when men and women met through friends, relatives, or randomly. Sure, it still happens, but with the internet and online dating, it is just as likely that people will meet through words and pictures before they actually meet in person.
Admittedly, I too have met men through the internet. After a few e-mail and potentially a phone conversation, the first "meeting" is discussed and arranged.
Most often this occurs (for me) over lunch or coffee. No harm here right? I mean, having a coffee with a friend is the thing to do. Both lunch and coffee are of a limited duration and give each party the time to determine if there is a desire to explore more at a future date.
But is there another place to meet? Is there something else a couple, having never really met one another before, can do rather than the traditional (and sometimes dull) coffee or lunch?
Recently a man suggested that we meet and walk around the mall. I thought that was a different idea, I mean... the mall?
As it happens, he met the National Mall rather than a shopping mall, which sounded like a great idea to me (the National Mall that is). I like walking, talking, and being outside. Not to mention that I am really somewhat tired of the "let's grab coffee" concept!
Shortly after my invitation, I read this written by David to a woman he wanted to meet for the first time. Tired of the coffee date, he asked if she would like to go on a hike.
David's post is well written and worth a read as are the comments he received, but in essence, she said no because they hadn't met, she didn't know him, and she felt uncomfortable.
The hike he offered was in a very public setting. I thought it sounded like a great idea. But then again, I was up for meeting and walking around the mall or the Mall. Among those who commented, I was in the minority. A hike, in a very public setting, sounded refreshing. While the woman in question noted a safety concern.
Although I understand her discomfort with a hike on the first date and her wanting to meet for coffee or drinks, I understand his desire to have a different kind of first date too.
Where do people date these days? The people who have not met, who know one another only through words and pictures? Where can they meet beyond the coffee shop or the bar or the light meal? Is it possible to have a creative and original first date with someone you have met online?
9 comments:
Try minature golf. You can talk, but have an activity for those awkward moments of silence.
I think its probably the safety thing, esp if meeting someone from the internet.
Plus, short and sweet, so you dont have to spend a ridiculous amount of time with someone you arent interested in.. no?
Early on I met a woman online and our first date was roller skating... Yes, I said roller skating. Somehow during one of our calls we reminisced about roller skating in our youth both commenting on how much fun it was. So that is where we went on our first date. She later said that was the best first date she'd ever been on.
My rule is to always try to do something where you can interact or spend the time talking. There are always wine tastings...or my favorite...a couples cooking class. As my ex once said..."Just put some thought into it."
i think so often people just default to the pub or coffee shop. some think liquid courage helps (i might be among that group). other ideas... hmm... its hard when it's date #1 and it's someone you dont know at all. id suggest a walk outside somewhere, going out for icecream, going for a run? (if you're both into that kind of thing)....
There is nothing safe about dating. I have no idea why we try to make it so.
I've met many men online who wanted to meet me in person. If they ain't willing to take me out to dinner, they ain't gonna be meeting me. They may insist they have spent too much money on women they have no intention of seeing again, or even oftener say they don't like spending that much money when they probably won't be getting any at the end of the date.
Seems to me if you are into that game, then you're into a game you're probably losing.
Women cost something. May as well know it up front.
Yeah, lots of men chose not to meet me. I just told them if I wanted to stand at a counter and stir my coffee, I'd fuckin' do that at home!
But then again, men who won't take risks don't wind up with women like me.
(I've no clue on the creative dating ideas. But I am sure a rare woman would really want to take a hike.)
As the guy who posted the hiking story, I'll say again that coffee dates really suck. New ideas are refreshing. I love the roller skating idea!
I love the creative ideas. That first impression is so important so, for me, creative ideas win points. Even if the date doesn't work, the creative ideas make it memorable.
Miniature Golf at WOODY'S between Tyson's and Dulles! INCREDIBLY fun mini-golf course! Not a traditional one by any stretch!
An ideal date does NOT include the movie theater.
I took a first date to the shooting range once. Believe it or not, that was a successful date. :)
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