Father's day has always been an interesting time in my house. Unlike other situations where there is a custody agreement with rules and visitation restrictions, the Diva's dad is free to be as active and participatory in the Diva's life as he likes. There are no restrictions coming from me - only encouragement. (And I am trying to stay out of it as much as possible as their relationship is theirs and is not about me)
That said, the Diva spends very little time with her dad.
When her school has had Father's day events, I ask her if she would like to take anyone or not go. She always takes me.
For a while, I would receive the gifts that she would make for Father's Day. Sometimes they would go to my dad. Most often, they are made with such love and excitement and then, they are forgotten about before they are ever given.
Father's day is not easy for us, but I am not sure that it is difficult either. It is just another day in our lives. It is probably more difficult for me, given my close relationship with my dad, than it is for the Diva. But it is a weird day for her as well as she is trying to figure out just where her "dad" fits in her life. perhaps it is better to say, she is attempting to define or discover just how she fits into his life.
This year, as every other year, she will not see her dad for Father's day. Rather, we will spend the day celebrating the end of school and ballet and the beginning of summer vacation. The Diva will get her summer hair cut (with her fingers crossed that she will be able to make a bun in it before ballet camp in July) and I might treat her to a fun treat while we are out and about. We will call my dad to tell him that his gift will be waiting for him in Virginia when he arrives, and we will wait until we see the Diva's dad to give him his gift (just before we leave on vacation).
I do not down play the day nor do I encourage her to celebrate in a certain way. I allow her the freedom to choose how she wants to do Father's day. But I do celebrate for my dad... and I celebrate for hers as well.
As unconventional as it might sound, I love her dad. I love the time that we shared, the experience, and the child that, without him, would not be. The Diva was not planned, but she is all about love!
So... Dear Diva's Dad,
Thank you for assisting in the creation of such an amazingly wonderful child and person. Without you, she wouldn't be, and without her my life would be far less rich than it is today.
Happy Father's Day!