One of the most Beautiful Words

Earlier this year I started feeling restless.  That restlessness that comes from somewhere deep inside making itself known without clearly stating a desire.  A restlessness that was, at one point, so familiar and yet, in the past few years, has only made itself known from time to time as I examine my house and feel the need to change it; to remodel.  

 

Professional restlessness is a part of my daily life.  Personality and compatibility assessments all suggest that I need a dynamic work environment.  Such an environment is not what I currently have nor has it been since I became pregnant.  Perhaps a less static career is just around the corner?  Perhaps it is all about being patient and waiting for the right time rather than trying to force something to happen on my time?  I believe that change, professional change that is, approaches.  It isn't here right now, but it is coming, I can feel it.  

 

The restlessness that struck this past spring was more personal.  For once, it wasn't about my house or my career, it was something deep inside.  It felt as if something in my soul began stirring after a long nap.  I couldn't put my finger on what I wanted; couldn't put my desires into words, I just knew that I wanted different.  Did that mean a new house, a new job, a new city, a new country, an injection of masculine energy?     

 

Had my restlessness struck, to the extent that it did this spring, before my daughter was born... I would have been out of here.  I would have taken the first great opportunity to live and work somewhere else; I would have been gone.  As a parent, I can't do that though.  Although there is nothing legally keeping me in Virginia, there is much keeping me here beyond the fact that I just love Virginia.  That said, don't get me wrong, I have thought about moving quite frequently throughout the past few months.  A new city or country would have provided the challenges and experiences my restlessness sought. 

 

Restlessness, pure and simple.

 

When my soul starts to feel this restless, something has to change - change is in the air.  It is as if I can feel it, taste it, smell it, I just can't see it; I don't know the form it will take.  Change is ineluctable.

 

And change is here!

 

It has been creeping up on me for months.  It has been making sneaky appearances in places where I least expect it, but it is here.  I am loving it.  I didn't have to move at all.  Rather, I had to exercise patience and open my mind to the new and different possibilities around me.

 

I am now a patron of the theater, I bought a bike (and love it!), I have expanded my circle of friends to include some very amazing and unusual people, and I am filled with the possibilities that await in the upcoming months while I embrace those that I find today.     

 

 I love... love... love... change.  And I love knowing, in my very soul, that there is still more change to come.  I have a feeling that 38 (which is quickly approaching) will be a wonderful year in the sense of experience, change, and growth.  This is not to say that 37 hasn't provided much of the same, as it has. 

 

My mind is open, my heart is ready, and my wings are preparing to soar.

 

Change...one of the most beautiful words in the English language!