30 October, 2008

More Than Just a Profile

The other evening I found myself checking out the members of the Single Parent's Connection on face book. Did I know anyone? Was there anyone in the DC area to check out? We are all single parents so, if nothing else, we have that in common... but maybe there is more to it than that? Maybe we have more commonality than differences?

I didn't get very far as there are many members, I don't have a lot of time, and well, from a face book snapshot, you can't tell much. Stymied, I felt stymied. Why doesn't everyone write a blog!

Ironically, a friend mentioned a similar thought when we spoke a few evenings later. He confessed to having tried his hand at Match.com only to find that a profile is just a profile. There wasn't much information on the person. He, like me, found himself wishing that there was a blog to read. Jobs require a writing sample, why can't we?

Just like a profile, a person can build themselves into a completely different character on their blog. A blog can be a wonderful work of fiction. It can be the person we want to be and yet the person that we are afraid to show to the world. A blog can be completely anonymous allowing us to share our deepest feelings and emotions (or we can do it without being anonymous as well) whatever the case, after a period of time and many posts, the reader believes that they have a sense of the person behind the words.

One does not have this sense after reading a Match or E-Harmony profile.

Or a Face book profile for that matter.

I considered my Face book profile and found that someone will understand quickly that I love word games (whether I rock at them or not is a matter of opinion, game, and night of the week). They will also find that I am bound and determined to unlock every locked plant, sea creature, Karma, drink, coffee, or whatever out there!! It is one of my Face book missions! Other than these things, they aren't going to learn much. I don't think that The Exception is yet associated with my profile, which is something I suppose I should do.

Even reading the exception, I am not sure if I am suitable date potential!! No pictures (as I am continually reminded thanks to Aaron and Scotty), and I am not sure how well one has to know me before I talk about the things that I write about in general. But then again, I talk about so many things that I don’t write about. (Don’t we all?) I would have to ask those who have met me how accurately this site and my writing illustrate the person that they met…

But still, the idea is that the blog gives a person something to read. The writings, the chosen words, the topics of discussion, the responses to comments... all of these give someone something to sink their teeth into - and probably help to facilitate commonality and topics of conversation.

I realize that Match or another dating site really can't use a blog format or connect to the blog that each potential candidate might write due to privacy issues. The online dating process is far more private than a blog which is often open for the world to read at will.

But still... wouldn't it be nice to have more? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to sit down with a cup of tea or coffee or chai and read about these people that are looking for the same things we seek? My friend could find out more quickly if there is potential compatibility if he could have that "blog" glimpse into the mind of each potential date while I could have an idea as to the different parenting perspectives and tribulations of the members of the Single parents Connection.

It is that idea of being able to read a person's mind - to have that little peak into their lives that is intriguing. That glance through the window that adds a bit more flesh to the body; a bit more reality to the process. This person behind the profile is real. This person outlined by checks in boxes is genuine with issues and challenges and joys and passions just, like, mine.


Julie said...

Come and meet some of my bachelors on my blog...it will scare the bejeezus out of you!

T said...

So TRUE!!! Isn't it funny how some of us have gotten so close via the honesty of our blogs? Maybe one day we'll meet and see how it transfers in person!! (Looking forward to that, by the way...)

dadshouse said...

I agree blogs give so much more insight into what a person is really like than an online dating profile ever could. But those insights are just the tip of the ice berg. There is much about me I won't blog about... Still, your point is great. Blogs rock!

justrun said...

I haven't online dated since I agreed to try it a few years ago, but I think you could get stuck in that "wanting more" mindset when, really, it's not natural. I know that's what I thought-- all the sudden I knew so much more about someone that I might even know if I were being set up by a friend, and yet, I wanted more.

On another note, and this is probably only my insecurity talking, but I hope no potential dates read my blog at first. It's just a portion of me, and not that I hide things purposely, but it frightens me that unrealistic expectations could arise quite easily.

The Exception said...

T - It is interesting to see how close people can become. And then to meet - it is odd because there is so much to talk about and yet one has to figure out how to reconcile the person with the words read!

J - I will have to come and check it out!

DH - Oh, There is so much to most of us than what we write on our blogs. I have a feeling that, with you, we are just getting the very very very tip top of the ice berg!!

JR - I actually met a "date" after he read my blog. The odd thing was that he had a head start - knew so much more about me than I did him. It was odd. He also felt like he didn't have to share with me because... well, he already "knew" me (which he didn't!)

Vinnie Sorce said...

I can't stand dating profiles, people always say things that should never be said that early on.

mama llama said...

Having met you, I felt I knew you when we sat down together. I had never seen a picture of you, we had only had a few WordTwist challenges between us but I had read your blog for a while. That made me feel like it would be okay to know you. I don't like to let the entire world know my identity on my blog; the fact that someone close to me here reads me and knows me actually inhibits my ability to write as openly and honestly as I would like. We are dictated to by (not only) circumstance, as to what we can/choose to show of ourselves.

I have no other profiles anywhere but on FB and this blog community. Funny, for always having dreamt of being an international spy, I don't think I could handle something so simple as multiple profiles...! Simplicity is me.

Be well, TE.

harassedmomsramblings said...

I totally agree with you! It would be cool to browse blogs instead of those crappy dating site profiles that tell people how much you weigh, your eye colour and what dog you like!!

And from my FB profile I attract the weirdest people *sigh*

ric said...