07 November, 2008

Thoughts on Intimacy

I love the idea of intimacy.  That closeness that is shared with another person that is both irreplaceable and indescribable.  We know it when we feel it, but to define it or to describe it… that is a different story. 


Ever see the couple at dinner in a restaurant that eats in silence?  Most people I know feel badly for the couple – I never want to be like that.  Does intimacy have to be talkative or noisy?  Can intimacy be that couple, eating in silence; sharing that silence?


We all have different ideas as to what intimacy entails.  Is it holding hands while walking, or snuggling at the end of a long day, or candle lit dinners over a wonderful meal, or even a comfortable silence in the car or at the table. 


I am not sure that I can define intimacy.  It might depend on the person with whom I share it.  I am not sure that a blanket definition can be used.  I have enjoyed intimate moments while sitting over Chinese food and enjoying a nice conversation.  But then there are those times when he and I work silently together but on different things.  Intimacy can be shared moments of creating just as they can be an emotional exchange or one of a more physical nature. 


For me, intimacy always involves love and trust.  It evolves and grows just as it accepts the growth and evolution of my partner and me.


Scotty said...

Intimacy, something that no matter what it is... is shared.

T said...

I like it. Beautiful.

liz said...

I think intimacy is established at an emotional and spiritual level and then manifests itself outwardly through any number of actions (or non-actions, such as enjoying silence together).

I think a glace between two people that can be read and understood completely without any words needed, is extremely intimate.

Intimacy requires vulnerability and honesty, and has very little to do with sex. And while sex can itself be an intimate act, intimacy cannot established through sex. It can heighten or enhance intimacy between two people, but does not define it.

mama llama said...

Whenever He and I would try to go out and do something together, back when we tried, we usually sat in silence. Perhaps that is why our relationship was always in function of others--we actually needed other people to stimulate us to converse; we didn't have enough in common, once we got to know each other, to hardly even maintain a conversation.

Whenever the word intimacy is mentioned, various images are conjured up. But you are correct; intimacy occurs on so many levels--and when I see a truly intimate couple, the intimacy between them, even if they do not "touch", is palpitable. It's like an energy.

Great post, TE. Be well.

justrun said...

I feel like comfortable silence is one of the greatest forms of intimacy.

dadshouse said...

A blanket definition of intimacy - what, no pillows and sheets? (smile!)

I totally agree that intimacy can be shared moments of creativity. Being creative and bringing something new into the world is a revealing act, and to do that in concert with another is indeed quite intimate.

Anonymous said...

I am enjoying all these intimacy posts!!

Not sure yet I can define it either. Intimacy is all around. Its in the simplest things like making coffee together or falling asleep in each others arms!

When you having an intimate moment - its like the world doesnt exist!