I am exhausted.
Emotionally and mentally drained.
I would like to say that it is all over. The Nutcracker ended; the curtain closed; and my job as communication coordinator is over for a month or so. I should, one would think, be done for the season. I have time to relax and take stock. It is time to enjoy the freezing temperatures, the limited ballet schedule, and the season.
And usually I would agree whole heartedly except that, I am exhausted and drained, and I know that I need a break of the B&B variety…
A day or two at a bed and breakfast
A quiet evening with a bath and books and blankets
Perhaps a beach stroll with a boy of the adult variety, of course…
Any of those B&B combinations would work. The point is that this parent needs a break.
Even Atlas tired – Even Atlas had to take the world off his shoulders at some point and leave the job to another for good keeping.
And that break is all I ask. Time to decompress and settle down. Time to let my emotions do whatever it is that emotions need to do. I need time and space to be. And maybe a little TLC.
The last few weeks have been filled with busy times and high emotions.
You see it wasn’t just the Nutcracker, it was the Nutcracker combined with a few parents with negative attitudes. And even that combination is one I could handle; but… if we add to that a little bit of cold weather (which I like oh so much) and a dash of data base trouble at work… My nerves were a bit frayed by the time Saturday arrived. I was surviving but more frayed than not.
Now, top that off with a real questioning of my desire to have a man in my life – a partner, a companion, a true “someone” to help out and be there to enrich and encourage and love…
And then... because all that isn’t enough… my gorgeous and graceful ballerina accidently slipped and fell on Saturday night after her first performance and chipped her front tooth.
1/5 of her front tooth is now gone.
A cut now spans her lower lip.
There was blood everywhere.
There was talk of a lost tooth, stitches, nerve damage…
There was a long night in which I slept little and the Diva slept deeply and heavily
And there was no one on Saturday night to rub my back or on Sunday to hold me and let me have my space.
If it weren’t for a good friend who is more like an older sister, I am not sure what the Diva and I would have done. But we made it through that. We made it through discovering, in the midst of this dental emergency, my dentist sold his practice. We made it through the night on Saturday. And my Diva was on stage doing what she loved and looking great on Sunday afternoon… and she was charming a new dentist and her dad first thing Monday morning…
“I didn’t break a leg, I broke a tooth!”
She is doing great while Atlas… Atlas is not doing so great. Atlas needs a break. Atlas needs to lay her head on a strong shoulder and hold a strong hand and know that everything is going to be okay. Atlas needs to let someone else take the world for a while as she just needs a very good, from the heart, cry.