03 December, 2008

In Aw

My parents were in town over the holidays.  While the Diva was sad at their departure, I think that the adults were all quite ready to return to their normal lives.  There is just so much together time a few adults can take!

But, as often happens when I am around my parents, I start considering the lack of a companion in my own life.  Sure, my parents are typical married people.  They snip at one another or get on each others nerves.  They have their own pet peeves about the other person.  But, at the end of the day, they are a team.  They are best friends, share a life while leading their own, and are secure in their relationship.  They have raised two kids and now are enjoying their lives in a whole different way. 

I breathed a sigh of relief when they left Tuesday morning; and yet, I have to admit that having that adult conversation in my house was nice.  Seeing their companionship was… nice. 

I then chatted with a friend who is experiencing challenges with his son.  Together he and his wife are working to find ways to help the child.  They are a team, two people turning toward one another to work through the situation and to find answers and help their son. 

Again, I found myself wondering just what that would be like… what it would be like to have a partner.  To be a member of a team?  To share a life while living a life of your own?  What is it like to know that someone has your back… and it isn’t just the guy down the street but your best friend and partner?

I remembered sitting in the hospital room when the Diva swallowed the magnetic rock holding a stuffed dog and doing all I could not to break down.  Alone.  No companion, no best friend, no man to hold me and assure me that whatever happened, we were in it together. 

Just as there will be no companion or partner or man to hold my hand this weekend and glow with pride as my Diva takes the stage and shares her love and passion with a few hundred people. 

I found myself wondering how single parents do it without that partner and companion.  I found myself in aw of those people – in pure and simple aw.  How do they do it?


T said...

Right there with ya.

I too would enjoy a companion. But I'm also enjoying the single life and being independent. Surely there's a middle ground somewhere!

MindyMom said...

As single moms we can't help but miss having a partner sometimes. Going through a pregancy as a single mom after having my first three while married was probably when I noticed it most, but now it's nice that I don't have to share everything with a jerk that can't appreciate it all anyway. Better to do it alone than with someone that sucks your energy from you - energy you need for yourself and your kids.

dadshouse said...

I've been doing it solo for 9 years, and yet... I'd LOVE a companion. She'll enter my life when it's time.

Have the T-shirt said...

There have certainly been many times when I felt like, "Why isn't there someone here to share this with me, help me with this?!"

There were just as many times I was glad I got to do it all the way I wanted, no discussion or arguing.

Trade offs. Life is full of them and single parenting is no exception.

Aaron said...

I hope I won't be a nit-picker. :/