22 May, 2009

Stop, Breathe, Notice

Stop, take a deep breath… give thanks!!

This is what I am doing right now.  As the world falls down around my ears and everything I believed is now turned topsy-turvy.  As I have to reexamine the last years of my life and all that I have heard in the past few weeks.  As I have to remember that one can not serve two masters successfully and do the best by both…

Stop, take a deep breath, and find the truths.  Find balance and center and truth.  

Yesterday I was lied to by someone who has never lied to me so blatantly in the past.  Dishonesty hurts in any form.  Dishonesty rocks the foundations and creates doubt and distrust that can be very difficult to establish after the lie.  The lie pushed me into action – action I didn’t want to take; action I believed would not have to be taken because of the trust that flourishes between us… or did.  

I sit now, at my desk, taking deep breaths.  I sit remembering the truths of my life and finding the things for which I am truly grateful.  

Friends – I have learned that I am blessed with amazing friends.  For a month now I have been turning to friends and talking.  I have been sharing my life and finding that my daughter and I have support from all sides and from every direction.  It is an amazing thing to know your friends are there for you regardless of the situation.

Gorgeous weather – Because honestly, given all that transpired yesterday, I could not do another week or few days on end of rain.  Sure, this means it is a tad humid and that I have to go outside and actually… believe it or not… water the roses etc, but… there is sun outside.  There is blue sky.  There are open windows and light breezes.  There are magnolias just waiting to bloom… and how can I not be thankful for magnolias!!

My daughter – The child that I will support with every ounce of my being 100% from this day forward.  The child that sat in my bathroom talking to me through the wall last night “It’s okay mamma.  I love you mamma.  I will always love you.”  Al this because she heard me mumbling (on the phone) with her Godmother as I was attempting to have a private conversation from her isolated bathroom.  My daughter who tied a shiny bow around my ice tea bottle to make me feel better.  My daughter – the light of my life in her own little way – in her flowery dress and her pony tail, who looks at me with her ever knowing eyes trusting me, and only me, to make it all okay.  

There are so many things for which I am grateful.  So many things to celebrate.  Every once in a while I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and remember.  Take a deep breath and consider all that I have and the joy that fills my heart.  My life is abundant with riches – I just need to remember to stop, breathe, and notice!

7 comments:

SingleParentPlus2 said...

I believe Betty Williams said it best - "I'm so grateful that God allowed me to go through that because it's made me."

dadshouse said...

How great that you are noticing the wonderful things around you, amidst the struggles you are going through.

I love how your daughter put a bow on your iced tea bottle.

Single Mom Seeking said...

This post really resonates with me. I'm in a similar place right now. Lots of deep breaths -- and exercise!

And, yes, my daughter, too. We're having a garage sale tomorrow, and reminiscing together over her baby things.

Thanks you for this. Big hug. And this, too, shall pass...

justrun said...

Big hugs to you! You are right, it's most important to notice the good in the times where it's so difficult to see it.

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The Exception said...

It is difficult and challenging but life is filled with so much - I just need to remind myself of all that there is and that change and choice are amazing gifts as are friends, family, spring...

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