If You Could...

If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?

This is one of those questions that is often asked in different types of groups.  I have had to answer it various times, and my answer is consistently the same.  I would change nothing. 

“Not even something very small?”

Not even the most miniscule of things. 

I would not change the travel, the people, the happiness or even the heart ache.  

The pain and sorrow and struggles and humiliation… I would keep it all.

I would not change the people with whom I rode in a train carriage or an elevator.  I would not change the drink I had with dinner in 1975.  I would not change a thing. 

“Why?”

To change even the smallest of details is to change the person I am or to risk making that change.  My life would be different – it would have different challenges and different experiences.  And I would probably love it as much as I love the life I live now, but that’s just it.  I love the life I live now!

And no, this isn’t to say that my life is easy.

It isn’t to say that I am happy all, of, the, time. 

It isn’t to say that there are days when I see more gray and shadow than I see sunlight and brightness. 

It is simply to say that I love my life.  I love the experiences I have had and those I find daily.  I love the lessons that I have learned and even the challenges I have faced in learning them.  And the people who have entered my life, touched my life, or left my life… I love all of them too though I might not like the situations or circumstances. 

Every little detail, each bold stroke of the paint brush, all the choices I made and didn’t make…I love them all for the person that I am and the life that I currently live. 

Would I change my life? 

No... There are risks I am willing to take – but going back in time to change this or that is not one of them!

This is my life to live… and I am thrilled to have the chance to learn and grow and share it and live it…