17 December, 2009

Glass Houses

The European press gave little attention to the Tiger Woods situation currently dominating the news in the American media market. 

*sigh*  It is no wonder that I sometimes feel more European than I do American. 

I do not fully understand why this country, in general, feels the need to make the personal lives of this and that person worthy of public attention and judgment.  I have heard nothing but one person after the other casting stones from behind the walls of their beautiful glass houses. 


Tiger Woods behaved as more than half of the US population and a large percentage of Europeans and people’s throughout history.  His behavior is his behavior.  It is between Woods and his wife.  It is not about you or me or the man down the street or the woman next door.  Even though he is a famous golfer, he is still human. 

There is an old saying, beyond the one paraphrased above about glass houses and casting stones, about not judging people.  Until you have walked a mile in my shoes…

Does anyone know the inside story of the Woods marriage?

Who is to say that there isn’t more to the story than what has been told?

Not to mention, who are we to say that this is a marriage worth fighting to save?  Maybe, America, just maybe, it isn’t. 

Or maybe it is a marriage that has its own terms and singular contract that is not about anyone else but Woods and his wife?

I find it so fascinating  that the media comments on whether or not the marriage should be saved, what Woods should do, and passes judgment on him. 


When did we, on the outside of this private relationship, become experts?

Where did we assume the power to pass judgment and give advice?

I don’t recall ever hearing that Woods asked for outside opinions in regards to his relationship and personal life?

Around the world this story has received very little attention.  Woods is a golfer.  He is human, and he plays golf. 

Around the world, marriage is viewed very differently than in the US.  It is not an ideal without issues nor is it a romantic entity.  It is a relationship with two different and changing people. 

I simply don’t understand why America wants marriages to work even when they are broken; that we see a changed relationship between two people (divorce) as a failure; and that we don’t see that people, regardless of their societal position, are human.  We all make mistakes; no one is perfect.  We are each charged with choosing to live our highest potential, and no one knows what our life contract is beyond the individual involved in the contract – if even them.

So much energy invested on something that involves the personal lives and choices of a few individuals.  So many passing judgment on something they do not understand; something they see only through their own experiences and filters.

Things break, marriage break, relationships can be broken just as can contracts and arrangements and deals.  The choice to start again and forge new opportunities is one that is determined by the individuals involved, not by the American media or talking heads or societal norms.  Not everything that is broken can be mended; not every marriage can be fixed especially when betrayal of the heart and trust are involved.  But in everything, there are new opportunities.  There are new choices and new beginnings.  

And those new beginnings aren’t always where we expect to find them just as they aren’t always what the media  or the talking heads advise.  

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again telling myself that the  mending hole was good as new.  What is broken is broken, and I would rather remember it as it was at its best then mend it and see the broken places for as long as I lived - Anonymous







Mama Llama said...

There is some sort of "holier than thou" belief very alive in this culture, that I find affecting me just as a woman separating from her husband. Judgment reigns and minds are made up, until the 'guilty' party has to flee, even though few know the entire story. Who cares? Whose business is it? Nobody's...but evidently too many people have way too much time on their hands to be so interested in others' problems that they cannot handle their own.

Be well, TE. Looking forward to our date tomorrow!

dadshouse said...

I think tiger was a little more brazen than other adulterers. As for talking points - when a celeb does somthing "outrageous", we can talk about it dispassionately and learn from each other without condemning or undercutting our friends. That said, I'm glad the Tiger story is dieing.