09 March, 2010

Today

Today I learned that there is a spot on my dad’s lower back that was discovered by a bone scan.  We don’t know if the cancer has spread; we only know that our spirits are high and we are ready for whatever happens next.

Last year I watched the Bucket List.  I am a huge Morgan Freeman fan and will watch just about anything he has filmed.  I watched the movie and cried.  And I thought about writing  a Bucket List.

And I have yet to write that list.  

I am not sure that I will ever write it as I wonder if… well, if it is necessary?

It is nice to go through and find the things we want to do  at some point in our lives; the places we want to go and the things we want to do.  But, I wonder if the trick, for me, is remembering to live  to the fullest every day?

In other words, there are places that I want to go for the first time and things I want to do and see.  There are places I want to visit a new because I have been there before and have loved that first experience and want to experience them again in a different way.  

There are things I want to try…

And yet, my life is complete if I don’t do any of the things mentioned above.  

My life is complete when I have said my peace.

Perhaps my Bucket List is more about ensuring that the people I love know that I love them.

And that my daughter  realizes, without doubt, that she is responsible for her own choices, not those of her father or me.  

And that I have laughed at least once a day… a real laugh

And that I have taken every opportunity presented, each day, to give of myself and to myself… love.

And that I have lived with integrity… true to myself

That I have turned my back on the chances to sell myself or live by the rules of another or under the expectations of another or society… I have lived as honestly and openly as possible.  

I love the idea of a Bucket List as it makes one more aware of the adventures that are out there to be experienced and the wonders of life that they want to try…

But for me, for right now, the wonders of life are in my heart, my neighborhood, in my friends, and in my family.  

6 comments:

L said...

I'm very much with you on this. When I think of a Bucket List for myself, I think of a lot of things that would be nice to do or have, but none of them really matters. I feel like my list is things that I already try to do every day-- I'm happy with that, and I never forget what a blessing even that much is.

All the best to your dad. My thoughts are with you.

vinnie said...

I've considered a bucket list before. I'm a little afraid of writing it all down for fear of failure actually...

dadshouse said...

I don't have a bucket list. Life itself is an experience, not a list of things to do. I like your approach - live each day to its fullest. It's about how present we are to each moment, how compassionate we are to each other.

Mama Llama said...

I keep my bucket list full of meanial things that don't mean so much to me. Just for fun; as a goal-oriented person, it is a motivator. But it is for fun, not the way I live my life...but you know me and I think you know that.

I am thinking of you and your father. Please keep me posted on any and all developments. It is so hard to see our loved ones go through any trials, health or otherwise.

Be well, TE.

Mama Llama said...
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Evita said...

Wow, what a beautiful post.

I have seen the "Bucket List" and really enjoyed it too. I like the idea of the list, but hope that I am living out what I truly want and what is important to me each day. And it is never about the material.

What I loved so much is when you said "And yet, my life is complete if I don’t do any of the things mentioned above. "

That is so how I feel. Yes, of course there are things I want to do and experience, but it is all okay just as it is right now, if I don't for I feel great peace within.

So thank you for these great words.

And thank you also for the beautiful comment you left on my site - it was so appreciated.