14 April, 2010


I am exhausted.

My eye lids want to close – they are closed as I type.  I am not physically drained but feel the drain of emotional energy. 

Perhaps it is the day – gray clouds threaten rain that most likely will not fall.  The weather is unusually cool despite the run of above average warm days.  The Dogwoods are not brightening the world but are a white spot against a dark background.

The pile of papers builds on my office chair.  Registration forms requiring my attention.  Checks  to be attached.  Money to be paid. 

I am tired. 

There are two points in the school year that seem to be more about forms and checks than any other point – this time in the spring and the first week in the fall.  I consider the funds in my account and feel the sadness and anger and frustration build.  It is these emotions that are draining my energy levels.  It is this need to feel anger without taking action; this holding on over letting go.

I consider my options…

I either let the stress of this situation go – this final stress that revolves around money.  Or, I stop letting it get to me and actually do something about it. 

The answer – I will let it go.  I will make a wish to let it go.  I will work hard to let it go.

Perhaps I do make wishes after all?  Perhaps it is time to light a candle, find a star, and focus the energy that I am investing on frustration and anger on… letting go. 




Sorrow said...

when you are ready

dadshouse said...

Letting go is usually a good response

Robin Easton said...

I found this deeply moving, poignant. Your honestly really touched me. You sound like a very open, aware and sensitive person. One who deserves to be treated kindly, gently and with much respect. I resonate with this post and it made me think of how when I feel this way those close to me have told me to also be gentle with myself. So I pass on to you: "Be gentle and kind to yourself."Not that already aren't, but sometimes when we have our heaviest burdens we are the hardest on ourselves. I am touched by who you are. Hugs, Robin

L said...

I'm with you, sister. I could do some letting go myself.