I am exhausted.
My eye lids want to close – they are closed as I type. I am not physically drained but feel the drain of emotional energy.
Perhaps it is the day – gray clouds threaten rain that most likely will not fall. The weather is unusually cool despite the run of above average warm days. The Dogwoods are not brightening the world but are a white spot against a dark background.
The pile of papers builds on my office chair. Registration forms requiring my attention. Checks to be attached. Money to be paid.
I am tired.
There are two points in the school year that seem to be more about forms and checks than any other point – this time in the spring and the first week in the fall. I consider the funds in my account and feel the sadness and anger and frustration build. It is these emotions that are draining my energy levels. It is this need to feel anger without taking action; this holding on over letting go.
I consider my options…
I either let the stress of this situation go – this final stress that revolves around money. Or, I stop letting it get to me and actually do something about it.
The answer – I will let it go. I will make a wish to let it go. I will work hard to let it go.
Perhaps I do make wishes after all? Perhaps it is time to light a candle, find a star, and focus the energy that I am investing on frustration and anger on… letting go.