I don’t remember every mother’s day. Throughout the first years of my daughter’s life, we just did whatever we would normally do. As she has aged, her desire to celebrate has evolved – usually the celebration starts a few weeks before the actual date. This year I received most of my gift the week before because she just couldn’t wait!
Last year I remember the day. It was gorgeous out. My daughter was running her first real 5K as part of a Mother’s day celebration. She had a great race finishing at the top of her age group despite having fallen in a pot hole on the course. It was a wonderful day for both of us.
This year we went to a wonderful show downtown, had a lunch at her favorite restaurant, and then met friends for coffee. We laughed, sang, joked around, and had a wonderful day.
As bedtime neared, she remembered the card she made but hadn’t given me.
The flower on the front, the pop up in the middle, the gratitude expressed and the love pouring from the creation…
I found myself holding back tears.
This Mother’s day my daughter created her gifts. She spent time crocheting and measuring and crocheting something just for me – something I love. She then created and cut out coupons (one of which I used last night) for me to use for things like hugs, neck rubs, and shared time and activities. When she handed me the card, at the close of a gorgeous day, I felt overwhelmed. The celebration of being a mother is something that I have every day.
While a friend of mine had offered (unbeknownst to me) to take her shopping- my daughter had responded, no. She already had her gifts. When her dad said that he would take her shopping, I hemmed a little and then said okay and suggested to her that she let him do it, which she did. She told me of the shopping experience on our way home afterward. I listened and found myself feeling so many emotions. A man once told me that he didn’t give things or recognize the mother of his kids on Mother’s day stating “She’s not my mom.” And after last year, I had no expectations that I would receive any recognition from her dad this year – not even a Happy Mother’s day verbally given. And it was a good thing as I received no recognition or acknowledgement from him at all.
When we arrived home from her time with him – my daughter handed me a plastic bag with a small box and the receipt enclosed.
In the box, I found sweet heart earrings that sparkle in the light. I put them on and have not removed them. I love them because she found them, she picked them out, and they will always remind me of the love that she is – and the importance of recognition and appreciation.
Heart earrings sparkling from my lower ears, I looked at the one of a kind card. I thought of the one of a kind coupon I intended to use that evening once everyone was ready for bed. Tears aside, I looked at my daughter…
My mom always said that the gifts we made were the ones that she treasured most…
At no other time in my life have I understood this concept more than at that moment.
I thanked my daughter for each of the gifts. I expressed my heart felt appreciation for the creative process and her thoughtfulness…and I shared a wonderful bedtime treat with her from my coupon book…
And I didn’t thank her for the gift that she gave without intention - - the reminder that the celebration is one that we share daily. That the thought is the gift far more than the money spent. So while she haggled with her dad about “finding something cheaper” to give me for Mother’s day with his other two kids as audience, she had already given me all a parent could want…expression of love through her creativity, her thoughtfulness, her energy, her hugs, her desire to share her life with me, and allowing me to celebrate each day with her.