20 May, 2010

Unsettled

I want to do nothing more than to be outside walking

Walking and singing

So I left my office – I had to drop some papers somewhere anyway

And I walked

And my neck stayed stiff

The songs that ran through my head were different and left me thinking that I really need to find a new internal radio station!

My jaw remained tight

My breathing – shallow

I am agitated as if I sense that something is coming

Something that has me unsettled already

Last night I lay in bed and cleared my mind. I was ready to do some mental house cleaning. It is spring and spring cleaning was a tradition in my mom’s house.

“What are you doing?”

“You can do it with me. Be still and quiet.”

We lay still and quiet – I asked her to imagine a light coursing through her body, hitting every part, inside and out, releasing all the energy that belongs elsewhere.

I felt my energy move to my forehead and the clenching of my jaw.

I tried to visualize the light… then I tried to visualize a ball of warmth and light in my center expanding to push everything out.

“I feel like moving now… “ she is energized and relaxed

I am neither of the above.

“Just visualize the light in your mind and the rest of your body is covered in mirrors. Send the light shooting to the first mirror and then it shoots to the next chasing away all the dark and shadows.” She explained.

She slept peacefully with fun dreams and woke in a great state of mind.

I slept with a clenched jaw and woke out of sorts – singing the blues without a clear idea as to why or what has me unsettled.

*sigh*

3 comments:

Wilma Ham said...

Dear TE
Unsettled, at least you noticed and you also are aware of this; "The songs that ran through my head were different and left me thinking that I really need to find a new internal radio station!"
I love how you take care of yourself and even if it doesn't immediately get the result, you are still accepting and gentle until you will find the other station.
Much love to you, Wilma

bechtoldlifework said...

Oh yeah, I've been there too. Such a strange place, like being in an alternate reality. You do it great justice with your words!

Patty

http://whynotstartnow.wordpress.com/

p.s. I don't know why, but for some reason when I try to leave a comment with openID/wordpress, I get an error message.

The Exception said...

Wilma - I am working on it. Sometimes the hardest thing is to give myself time... walking and singing definitely helps.. and I am letting my muse out more than in the past... which is nice too.
Have a great weekend!

Patty - I hope that I fixed the comment problem! It is weird to have that agitation running through and the same songs spinning on the turn table and yet, I know that it will pass. I probably need to sit with it a little while and see what comes out.