"You and your harem."
"What... you mean the guys?"
I walked into an empty classroom and chose a seat. Soon it was brought to my attention that the guys in the class sat around me while the rest of the women sat on the other side of the room. And yes, this had to be brought to my attention as I didn't notice and I didn't care. I also didn't change sides of the room. I was here first!!
That paragraph sums up my academic career quite nicely. Unless a man truly caught my attention at a physical/chemistry kind of level, he was a friend. Sure, there might have been some casual flirtation, but I never considered there to be anything more to it than pure friendship.
And then there was "that" guy! You know, the guy that turns heads and yet, he like me, says he is completely unaware of how attractive he is. he honestly had no idea - curly dark hair, amazing blue eyes, toned, tall, and "nice!" How could he not know?
I noticed him the first class, but quickly dismissed him as "too" attractive. That was that; hands washed of the situation.
The next semester we started to become friends. And after that, I found that I had grown quite attached to the hottest guy in the department - and we were just friends.
Okay, shake your head, smile to yourself and think "yeah right." That is what the rest of the department said and thought. But I tell you, men and women can be friends without flirting.
I had another friend, a great guy and a player plus. I saw through this guy immediately and then came to realize that he was and is truly a nice guy. No flirting, no nothing - in me he found his first female friend. There simply wasn't anything between us outside the fun we had spending time together. Again, we chatted about everything, but it never went anywhere. We still chat about everything.
Anyway, back to "that" guy...
Apparently, as I learned later, everyone was talking. I was after him. He was after me. There was definitely something going on. And none of it was true.
Yes, we spent time on the beach chatting and laughing. I know that there was nothing I couldn't and didn't tell him. There were those moments, out of the blue type moments, in which I knew physically that he was a "man" and quite attractive at that. But he was off limits.
And yet everyone talked. It used to irritate me just slightly. I am not a fan of being accused of doing something that I truly have not done. I don't like people making a judgment without knowing me or the facts of the situation. And yet, they did.
Is it that difficult to believe that women and men can be close friends?
"That" guy and that period of my life are all about Bonnie Rate. There are times when I think that, if we are accused of doing something or being a certain way, then we might as well do the deed.
If people truly wanted something to talk about, then we should have admitted then what we admitted later - that there was chemistry and attraction beyond the friendship. Unspoken as it was; it was there all the same. Would we have had more fun had we truly done what everyone believed we were doing?
People are talkin, talking 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under covers
I just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing, something we don't, Darlin'
Let's give them something to talk about
(Something to Talk About - Bonnie Rate)
13 comments:
Loved this post. Part of small town living is being talked about, and I am always laughing at what I hear--especially when its about me!
Makes me think of the movie Practical Magic with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock. One of my favorite lines is when Nicole's character goes to the PTA type meeting, and all the women stare at her--she says something about they better lock up their husbands because she's back in town!
Small towns are great in that respect. Of course, they are also a pain because everyone knows everything - or they think they do.
Boys and girls be just friends... not so much. Men and women... I believe so.
I guess you are saying that such an idea is what seperates the "men from the boys?"
I had four classes in a row with the hottest girl around. We studied together. We had gone to high school together, but not known each other. She had been popular. I wish something had been going on.
Something like that. I didn't used to think that being just friends was possible, until later on.
I think I've been one of the most gossiped about noncelebs in this century. I've had mainly female friends so ofcourse there had to be more going on.
Nope.
One of the best things about going back home is hearing the rumors.
* I heard you worked for NASA
* I heard you moved to Europe
* I heard your band was huge in Japan
* I heard you were a producer in Hollywood
All of these are actual rumors I've heard about myself. Not a single one even close to true.
I like that song, too.
Bonnie Raitt does have some pretty good stuff. That song is on her CD Luck of the Draw. The whole thing is full of good stuff.
Always a pleasure to read your posts Exception. Keep writing.
TAG
Ok, you've gone and left me hanging....is there more?
From the minute children are around age five, they begin to be pressured by the whole world to have a "person of interest." I am appalled, APPALLED, at how often I hear someone ask a kindergartener, "Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend in class yet?" I'm just as appalled to hear people ask this of a person in their teens or their twenties! What the hell does having a romantic interest have to do with anything and why would that be your business!
So, we are trained, early on, that boys and girls are not just boys and girls they are boys AND girls.
So, when they see us together, they start using their idiotic and shallow imaginations. Apparently they have nothing else to use them on.
Steve - Got to love those "what if" situations. Perhaps she would have welcomed your advances - or it might have ended everything.
Scott - I meet lots of men like that - and then they find that with me, they can be friends and enjoy the relationship without pressure or expectation.
JACC - Wow, you are quite the cool cat! Fortunately, people do spend much time talking about me at home simply due to my work. The stories might fly but they know they aren't going to get any answers - so why talk about it!
Matt - That song if such a great one. One that you just have to sing when you hear it - at least I do.
TAG - I have the CD - probably bought it because of that guy and that time in my life. I would love to have one of those guys around now.
Doozie - Yes, it was a cliff hanger - and yes, of course there is more. Potential future post?
Teri - That is very true. It never stops - when we are young we are asked about boy friends or girl friends and when we are older everyone is desperate to find us a mate. Awareness of the "sexual" aspect of the opposite sex starts early as does the idea that we are not complete without that person as an adult.
I believe Teri hit the nail on the head with her comment. We're ALL drawn into that boyfriend-girlfriend trap from an early age. It gets to a point where you're 30 and people wonder what's wrong with you because you're still single.
Post a Comment