21 June, 2007

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing -?

It is as if they sense me coming.

I push open the door and, the women in the room move that much closer to their spouse.

They close ranks. They engage in couple talk. They send out the message, consciously or not, that "This man is taken!"

And perhaps this is all a figment of my imagination. Does it ever happen to you?

Admittedly, my situation is a bit different than most.

I live in an area in which most kids have both parents living at home. Yes, the divorce rate, according to the census, suggests that more than half of marriages end in divorce and a fairly high percentage of kids live with just one parent. Well, not in my neighborhood. Throughout the seven years of my daughter's life, we have known just two other kids with single parents in this area.

This is truly not an issue. The Diva doesn't care. This year she was not only the only child in a single parent home but she was the only "only" child in her class, the latter of which is a first.

The stats also don't bother me in the sense that you might think. I am not one of those that enters a room of couples and feels like I am missing out. I think it is nice that they have someone and well, I am fine with the fact that I don't.

The aspect that gets under my skin is the feeling as described above.

I am not the average mom. I admit it. When I attend functions etc I dress as I do in the office, which is not power suits and femininity hiding attire. I wear tailored dresses, heals, and am quite comfortable being the woman that I am.

That said, I am not a threat, not a predator, not a black widow, nor am I the pariah that some of these women might perceive me to be.

Yes, I know that the dads appreciate my figure (and who could blame them (smile)) and yes, they flirt. I flirt right back. It is, after all, a social setting, our kids are friends, and it is all in good fun. I think that the mothers know this as when the men are not around, everything is perfectly fine - conversations about kids, jeans, shoes, pregnancy, school... you know, mom conversations.

And yet, when the men are there, the air in the room changes.

perhaps, in the end, I am just imagining this. I am, after all, the only single parent in the room. Maybe my antenna is up just a bit too high or tuned a bit too much?

In any case, for the record ladies, I am not after your husbands.


Princess Banter said...

We're guilty of doing that every once in a while -- though not exactly in the same situation as yours. I know some people in "cliques" that I find cool individually. But once the rest of the posse comes along, it's like something alien comes over them as their change is so totally NOT discrete. I always find that amazing -- HOW does that work?!?!

paula said...

please contact me about a writing opp.

Eric said...

I will be glad to take you out so you do not feel alone anymore. ;-)

brandy said...

Yikes, that sounds like a lame situation. I've been in something similar where my single fabulous self got dirty looks from girls who have boyfriends I know. I just chalk it up to insecurity on their part. Keep working it!

Matt said...

I'm sure you wouldn't trade places with them.... :)

Someone's jealousy of you is a good indication you have something valuable.

Scorpy said...

I did a post on this a while back...YES! It does happen to me too. So much so that when friend have couples around I'm no longer invited. I'm over it now but it really annoyed me to think that people thought I was out to steal their wives...then I met a few of the wives accidentally when we were all out one night and asked them about it. They had had a few drinks and started telling me that some of them had been discussing ME with their husbands. They didn't expand but i got hit on TWICE lol. It was refreshing but like you, I'm single, and it doesn't mean that I'm after married women!!! They had commented that i was a good dad, played with my Daughters, took them everywhere etc and I think a few of the Husbands were jealous of my freedoms.

cathouse teri said...

Poor eric. Would you just go out with him already!

I am sure it's not your imagination. Women are like that. They do it with any attractive, unattached woman. As if they are saying, "What is wrong with you that you don't have a man? Well you can't have mine!"

And they've heard the song, "When God Fearin' Women Get the Blues!"

You just keep shinin, babe. Those ladies can keep their troubles (and their men).

Scotty said...

Thats funny, because there have been times when I have been with someone, and a girl has walked in and I have noticed they stand closer or clutch me more.

The Exception said...

Princess Banter - I have seen that as well. I like to think that, with me, what you see is what you get, but I probably behave differently when I am with this or that person.

Paula - You have me curious.

Eric - Now how do you propose to take me out? I appreciate the offer.

Brandy - It is some kind of territorialism, but so subtle that one might miss it. I think that the men probably don't know it is happening to the extent that it is. (In fact, they are probably thrilled that they are being shown affection/attention! ;)

Matt - Thanks for stopping by and... I definitely have something that the men find valuable! ;) I would not trade places with them, but do not think that they would trade with me either.

Scorpy - Not surprised that you were hit on! It is interesting to hear that men display a territorialism as well, even with a friend. I have seen the blown up macho guys pull that stuff, but not the everyday guy.

Teri - These dads are, for the most part, quite nice, funny, etc, but... they are not my type nor am I theirs. I simply don't want what these women have - and they probably can't figure out why I wouldn't! ;)

Scott - that is because you are quite the catch! They know they have "something" and want to ensure that the tramp that just walked through the door does nothing more than provide you with eye candy. ;)

Steph said...

You aren't imagining it. I take my nephew to football training and to his games (i blogged about this, it's the result of a dumb deal I made with my brother) and the daggers I get from the mums who are all a good ten years older than me as they circle their men is laughable.
Like I'd want their saggy old husbands anyway!

The Exception said...

Steph - exactly!! I am usually a good ten years younger than the dads in question (not that this means much as I am sure that there are attractive men in that age group, but honestly. )

2xA+r0n said...

Ah... but if these men are after you.. hence the animosity from the ladies. They obviously can't keep their men in line and that's no fault of yours, but if you want to avoid conflict you may wish to avoid flirting. :)

(Easier said than done, I know.)

Beth said...

I've been there, too. I think sometimes people in relationships view us single gals differently. They fell threatened and confused and they don't know what to do with us. But, just because we are single, does not mean that we are after their men!

The Exception said...

2A - I don't even think that the men are after me. They like looking. They flirt like a friendly flirt. The women are just, women. I am not even sure they realize they do it.

Beth - Definitely do not want their men!

Willow said...

I've had this happen too, but in a bar room, or party. Unfortunately this is because I did have an affair with a married man, in a very small town. So now the women eyeball me, like I want Every man I see. I actually get a kick out of it--I wish I was as bad as they think I am:)

The Exception said...

Willow - I don't really think about the way I am coming across. I know the score etc, but every once in a while I am shocked by how "bad" people think I am. I wish I was getting paid for such misperceptions! (I wish I was having that much fun!)

Eric said...

I have to agree with Teri....I can be there in a day.... ;-)~

Spellbound said...

You know I came here because of what I assume are your boobs and body on Animal mind, but I stayed because I like your style. Many years ago I was a single mom and also one of the girls that made women clutch their husbands when I walked into the room. I’ve been married now for 33 years and gravity is one law I can’t get repealed, but you know what, there are women that are still threatened by a woman with looks, brains, and attitude, single or married, young or old. As far as I’m concerned it’s their problem, not mine. I have no problems with my husband looking at other women, because he always turns back to me and says, “I’ve checked them all out and you’re the most beautiful girl in the room.” Smart man my husband.

The Exception said...

Eric - yeah, as a single parent, I know it isn't that easy! ;)

Spell - You are right about gravity. I think I will just pretend like it is never going to happen to me though I know it will. I have to enjoy what I have while I have it!

Stay as long as you like and thanks for dropping by. And comments are always welcome.

I am like you. I honestly don't care if the guy I am with looks. I would rather know he is looking and appreciating me than have him looking, lying about it, and such.