"You know," my mom informed me a few years ago, "I heard recently that men are open to marrying women with children. They are open to the idea of a ready made family."
She said this in the hopes that, I, her one and only daughter, would find someone to marry me. How much easier her life would be if she didn't have to worry about the Diva and I living alone.
I think that she has given up hope. It took a few years and probably a lot of thought adjustment, but she hasn't mentioned anything about my getting married in quite a while.
Which is kind of nice.
Though I must admit that it is kind of odd as well.
Throughout my many years of being single (or unattached) my mom was the only one who ever tried to set me up. That's right, she was the only one who attempted to play match maker!
Is there something wrong with this? I am always hearing about people being "set up" by their friends. Blind dates, parties in which singles are seated together... I have even tried my hand at setting up this girl with that guy... it didn't work, but I tried.
And yet, I have never been set-up, had a blind date that I didn't arrange myself, or heard one of my friends say... "I know this guy..."
When it comes to friends telling me to get married - that is a different subject. From my cousins to my closest friends, to those that are mere acquaintances, everyone thinks that I should be married. That there is some guy that will add so much to my life (and my guy friends note that I deserve a great guy). These people are all about sharing the up side of marriage. So where are they when it comes to finding a guy???
Silence
That's right. No one - not my close girl friends, not the guys who think I deserve a prince, not even the acquaintances have ever attempted to set me up.
Curious, no?
I mean, it isn't as if I have a long fluffy tail, two heads, or am hiding a dark past or dozens of skeletons in my closet.
I am just your average, everyday, American woman.
Okay, well, maybe that isn't exactly true. I don't have the two heads or the fluffy tale, but perhaps I am not the average American woman (but who really is?).
It isn't as if I am searching for someone. I don't have a strategy, have not commenced Operation Get Married, nor am I very interested in doing so. I simply find it interesting that people who love me and expound endlessly on marriage and why I need to be married... are not engaged in the selection process.
12 comments:
Perhaps, as your mother and your friends have gotten older, they finally realize this is something they can not do. Maybe, just maybe, they know you are the only person who truly knows what you want.
Certainly they wall want you to be happy. That is a given. Of course having high standards means the field of qualified persons is cut back considerably. I think you and I would agree though that high standards are not a bad thing. Quite the contrary. Never settle for less than you deserve. We both know you (and the diva) deserve the best always.
Merry Christmas.
TAG
'So are you seeing anyone?' Thats the question I get from my mom every couple of visits.
'Eh, not really anyone significant', is usually my response.
Recently a friend asked if I was interested in one of her friends. 'Sure, I'll take her out.' I did, she's cool, just not for me :)
Although, I wouldnt mind more 'set-ups', as your foot is already kind of in the door. A reference of sorts.
So, I dont think its unusual. I mean, a lot of it depends on your friends. NONE of mine have done the set up thing, with the exception of this one. And she is kinda intent on it..
Maybe I should blog about it.
I get the "who are you dating now" from my family and friends all the time... which actually is better than the awkward setups when they do happen
My SIL will ask occasionally how dating is. My friends and associates all say they will look for me, but I never hear anything. Only German girl has someone, but I don't feel like driving over and hour to meet her. I know for me it would be nice if they did look, but I enjoy looking myself better.
I'm looking for the one with a fluffy tail.
Oh well.
I can't leave a better comment than Tag's so I will just say- ditto Tag.
Also, my mom doesn't think about me getting married yet. I think (after a string of bad dates) she's learning that sometimes it's better not to ask.
TAG - Hum, I am not sure that I have high standards at the moment - if he can breathe and has a pulse... ;)
But thanks... I don't think that anyone should settle either. Each of us deserves the best - and marriage is not the answer for everyone.
Scotty - I wonder why your friend is so enthusiastic. From what I have read in your comment section, you are not one that has difficulty meeting people in general and women specifically! ;) But having a reference from a friend or person who knows you in a plus.
Bre - Best intentions.... Why is it that people who are married or have someone think that they know what is best for the rest of us?
Mike - I guess it is a catch 22 - when we don't have people introducing us to others, it is what we want... and when they are always asking etc, it is a little tough.
Wombat - Hum... I could arrange a fluffy tale... any other requirements? ;)
Brandy - My mom may feel it is better not to know what I am up to... she has had a bit of a shock now and again in regards to my life and men... so that could be a point.
LOL - I always said the very same thing..."how come no one ever fixes me up with someone?"
And then my SON did :P
I think that the older we get, the fewer quality single guys are out there. Most of my friends don't even know any guys who are single, much less quality.
I think I have to agree more with beautifuldisaster's comments the most -and if you live in a very small town, out in the boondocks, the pickings get even slimmer. In all my years of being single -prior to my not-so-wonderful marriage -and since my better-than-being married divorce, I've only ever had one person "set up" a blind date for me and it was a total disaster. I even had a former neighbor guy (about 12 years my junior) ask me, in public, at the local pub, "Why don't we ever see you with a man?" -lovely implications that gives in a small town ya know -and I wanted to say "well mainly because there is no one here I would want to go out with who is technically available" but I was in a bit of a state of shock at the question and couldn't think that fast then. Besides, I think no response was actually the lesser of the evils there anyway. It can be a very depressing aspect at times when you can never meet someone who would be interested in the "pleasure of your company" -a bit of a drain on the olde self esteem thing ya know. Hope, if you really want a significant other in your life you can find one who is deserving of you, your abilities, your inner and outer self, ya know. But it's a difficult thing to do at times and for many of us I do think.
No, EO, you have everything else a man could want.
What a nice tail you have. Or is that a nice tale...?
its like my sister says. . . "the good ones stay married."
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