10 December, 2007

My Heart

There is something that happens every time I sit in the theater chair and watch the Diva dance on to the stage. 
 
My heart leaps up into my throat. 
 
Six years of Nutcrackers, five spring performances, and numerous observation days... and still...
 
when I see her take the stage, my heart fills and my eyes sparkle and... I fall in love with my daughter all over again. 
 
I wonder if it is the same for parents everywhere... we experience moments when we discover  a love for our children all over again? 
 
I love the Diva with all my heart.  I love sharing her life and learning with and from her.  And yet, there are those times when I am awash with that love - or I fall for her all over again as I did when she was born, when she took her first step, when she discovered her love for butterflies and cats and dogs...
 
perhaps it is the love that comes from watching her find her wings... the love that comes from being proud of her and all that she has accomplished. 
 
She pranced and danced and twinkled her way across the stage (and through my heart)  while I sat and watched wanting nothing more than to capture the moment; to save it and cherish it for all that she is and it is.  I wanted to have her moment on stage last.  I wanted to shout "That's my kid" and yet, I didn't want to take anything away from the moment. 
 
Is there something about seeing a child on stage, performing in the spotlight before hundreds of people, that creates that magical moment in my heart?  Or is it something that parents experience when their son takes the soccer field or their daughter dives into the pool?  Or maybe when a child graduates from high school?
 
Although my heart is physically no bigger than it was on Friday - I know that it is filled with that much more love than it was before (and I didn't think I could love the Diva anymore than I did!)

8 comments:

Scotty said...

I see what you describe as being something parents experience when they are extremely proud of their child(ren).

Glad it went especially well :)

JustRun said...

That's how I've always felt about children, amazed how that love can be so automatic and endless... boundless. I can imagine that feeling comes ten-fold when it's your own child.

AaroN said...

I don't believe the audience has that profound an impact (on you). You'd still feel the same way if she were in front of 10 people because she's your daughter. (She'd probably prefer more people, though.) ;)

Have the T-Shirt said...

It's called pride sweetie, and it makes out hearts swell like no other.

(incidentally, it can go the other way too, they can break your heart in a new york minute too)

Bre said...

When I watch my students act on stage I think I feel a degree of that, but surely not the pride you must feel when it's your daughter!

Doozie said...

as a parent my heart might skip a beat, but for different reasons such as; Please don't do anything weird....please don't try a magic trick...please don't fall down on purpose....and so on

Kat Wilder said...

It's natural to revel in their talents and abilities; to me, the greater joy is when we're doing nothing in particular but hanging and being with each other in a natural way — walking the dog, watching Tv, eating dinner together, when I see the man he's becoming. It happens quicker than we're ever really ready for, that growing-up thing.
*sigh*

The Exception said...

I am so very proud of her... but then again, I am usually very proud of her. She is a great kid.

That said, I do think that a similar feeling can come in regards to a person who is not your child... when you are there when a friend reaches a goal or fulfills a dream... when a spouse does something that touches your heart so completely... There is something about being so happy for another and sharing in that happiness... it is a wonderful feeling.

And yes, it is amazing to see the Diva up on stage fulfilling her "urge to dance." But I find myself more proud of her at moments in her every day life... as she cheers on a friend to reach a goal... as she gives so openly of her heart - when she is asleep and I realize just what a wonderful person she is becoming...

I am blessed to be able to share her life... that realization hits me at the oddest times!