13 December, 2007


At some point in my life I stopped "wanting" for things. 
Perhaps it was when I started getting paid so the things I wanted could be bought or obtained?  Perhaps it was when I became a parent and suddenly found my wants were meaningless in comparison of the needs of the family.
When I was younger, I knew exactly what I wanted.  I knew the house, the family, the lifestyle.  I dreamt of a specific career and its responsibilities.  I knew what I wanted.  
As it turns out, I now have one of the things that I wanted so long ago - and yet I don't have the job to go with it.  It appears that my qualifications are not those desired.  This doesn't surprise me much because I chose to be a mom... but, it is kind of a surprise in that I assumed that this was my ticket to go anywhere and do everything!
Tuesday evening I sat talking to a grandmother who had spent her life supporting her 5 kids and their activities.  She went to every event and supported them in every way possible.  Now she is caring for two of her grandchildren and supporting them while her daughter works. 
"I don't think that parents ever regret spending time with their kids; I think that they regret not spending time with their kids."
As I consider the reality of my professional situation, I realize that this is, for me, true.  I don't regret the time that I have spent with the Diva.  I don't regret choosing to be a parent.  I don't think that I could have been happy choosing to live any other way.  
But, as I look at my résumé and consider my options... 
I simply have to decide what it is, in full detail, that I want professionally.  I have to believe in the dream - after I start dreaming the dream that is...
And then, I have to make it happen!
That sounds very easy and straight forward... why do I have a feeling that it truly isn't that simple?


AaroN said...

Because if it were simple, you would have made that decision already

Scotty said...

I find that as I get more mature (vice older.. of course) I want less of the material things and more of the intangible enjoyables :)

teahouse said...

That's a nice way to put it..

I think I still want for things. But minor things. Like a better job situation. The major things are all falling into place.

Jeni said...

There's this little adage - the best laid plans thing you know - and sometimes, no matter how hard you dream, then try, work towards a goal, it doesn't come to fruition, or not quite the way you had thought it would. I'm not saying don't dream, to just settle for whatever comes along, but if you ever figure the answer out to this dilemma, please let me know. I'm 63, a mother, grandmother, disabled retiree now, still trying to figure out some way I can make a contribution of some sort that will give me some type of validation of sorts.

The Exception said...

Aaron - I hear that. But, after the choice is made - or maybe when the right choice appears, the decision will be just that simple?

Scotty - Ah... yes, the material things become less important when we realize that happiness is something that comes from within and without rather than from "something!"

Teahouse - I have a feeling you are going to have a great year!!

Jeni - Hum... the challenge is to keep doing something that is stimulating and that will give you joy and give to others/contribute... I am sure that we can think of something!!