07 April, 2008

The Morning After

Last week I attended a meeting; a meeting about which I was somewhat nervous.  I wasn't exactly nervous about the meeting but more about being out of touch for such a long period of time.  In typical anal retentive, Virgo, mother fashion, I had every detail concerning the Diva covered weeks before the event.  But I was still nervous - nervous that something would happen; nervous that I would be needed and unable to be attentive.
 
All the I's dotted and T's crossed, I arrived at my meeting and was able to relax and enjoy myself.  And when it was over, I wanted to chat about it; I wanted to share my thoughts etc.  
 
When I finally arrived home, I picked up the phone, dialed, and received... voice mail.  I tried another number and received, voicemail.  I left messages but tried again later to find the same result.  
 
Just before I crashed, I received a text - there was no way I was going to text about all that had happened, all that I was feeling, all my thoughts and desires...Not only was it not a conversation for text, I was exhausted and physically drained.  
 
But by the time the morning arrived, I didn't have anything really to discuss.  The experience had ended, I had shifted slightly on my axis to face all that excitement coming toward me.  I no longer felt the need to chat about all that I had experienced and thought.    
 
Had any of those phone calls connected; had anyone picked up the phone, they would have heard my exhausted voice devoid of energy but filled with excitement.  They might have shared the spark of my dreams igniting or realized that the embers of distant career goals were not bedded but just burning at a cooler level.  Had anyone stopped by to see me or to visit that night, they would have seen a sparkle in my eye that I have hidden for years and potentially recognized my distant state of mind as that of one belonging to a day dreamer. 
 
By the next morning, I was still drained but I was more myself - the mom on the run.  Had they looked hard enough, they might have noted that something very significant and yet very small had changed...the direction of my path and the awakening of dreams.

5 comments:

Aaron said...

It couldn't have been that exciting if you only called two people. :D

So when are you going to blog about it?

Anonymous said...

Anything that reawakens a hidden eye sparkle can't be wrong! Good luck, I hope all your dreams come true and that you exceed even your expectations of your goals.

Michael C said...

Wow, that sounds like something really good has happened! Woo Hoo for you if that's the case. And yes, I'm feeling awkward right now for having missed a few of your posts ;-)

Anonymous said...

Well, that sounds interesting... :)

But I know what you mean on how it can fade into the background. It's always good that bad things do that, but sort of disappointing that good things do, too.

The Exception said...

Aaron - I have been writing about it now and again... !!

Ruby - Thanks, I am excited though it will be a challenge to make everything work.

MC - You are welcome whenever you decide to visit!

JR - It is an odd feeling. I have the same sensation after a trip - there is so much to share and tell and yet... I feel like no one will get it. ALthough it fades, in a sense, it becomes a part of me.