Dating, there are lots of blogs and websites and services that are centered around the idea of dating. Everywhere I go on the internet, there seems to be something about "dating" or "finding love" advertised or discussed. (I wonder how dating worked centuries ago when there weren't books, shows, blogs, internet dating services etc as it seems that we can't do without them of late)
In the end, it is all about people looking for that connection - looking for love and hoping to find a means of discovering it.
Sometimes, of late, I wonder how serious we are about finding it? How open are we to the different possibilities? Are we open to finding love wherever it might be or, are we all about finding it based upon our preconceived or established conditions?
I recently wrote about a search for a boy toy turning into looking for an older man, when the reality is that if the connection is right, age doesn't matter nor does location or body type or language spoken. Love is love - I am not going to say that it has to look this way or live in this area or have this education because, well, it doesn't. If opportunity knocks, I am willing to give it a chance. Love can be found in the most unexpected places; it is something I don't want to miss!
Am I just beyond weird or what?
A married man recently told me that he had a list (prior to marriage of course) of the things he had to have. Beyond that list, he had a desirable characteristics list - those things that he desired but weren't necessary. His thought was that we all do this, but perhaps not as consciously as did he.
Given the questionnaires and profiles that are used in online dating, I suppose we do.
Regional preferences - We can actually set the scope of our search for love. We are searching for love and intimacy, but it has to be with someone that lives within a 25 mile radius of our location. So, there might be someone in the next county that is an amazing match but, we are not open to that possibility.
Type - We can set a physical appearance standard - this is probably a man's dream as don't they all have this ideal female body that they want to marry regardless of personality or connection? I refuse to even consider looking at someone unless they have red hair and blue eyes - not just blue eyes but VERY blue eyes. Oh, and the man can't be barrel-chested, must be clean shaven, have all his hair, stand between 6 and 6'4" and have never had braces. We can be that picky (I mean specific).
These are just two examples, and having filled out the e-harmony questionnaire, I know that there are loads more ways we can conduct our search for love. I just found these to be the easiest to exaggerate and the most telling of the ways that we limit ourselves to the possibilities of finding that which we claim to be seeking.
I think about the mail order brides of the past - would there have been any marriages had the ad been as specific as we are today?
Or even asking friends to play match maker - do we hand them a list of geographic, physical, and other requirements?
I know lots of people who are discouraged because they can't find the connection they seek; they aren't having any luck finding love. Sometimes I wonder what it is that they want? Do they want love and that connection when it happens or do they want to set the terms, define the guidelines, and determine the conditions from whence that love can begin?