July is a good month, a very good month. One of my dearest friends, That Guy, in the whole entire world is returning to the US, to live, this month, next week to be exact. I will not see him for who knows how long, but just the reality that he will be back in the states after living abroad for 6 years, well, that is enough for me. The ability to pick up the phone an talk... *sigh*
I met That Guy in grad school. The first time I saw him I thought "he is cute but out of my league." and he thoughtfully contemplated my personality and wit ("I wonder if her breasts are the size of melons? What a nice butt." - he is such a guy sometimes!) We never imagined that we would end up being great friends. I had a class with him each semester - heading a group of undergrads in Latin American studies, Winding our way through International Economics, and theorizing about how men and women fit into different schools of International Relations theory. We talked, debated, discussed, and spent time just chilling on the beach. Want to form a strong friendship? Sometimes graduate school is the best place to do it.
A few days ago Teri wrote about the female friends that she has; the women that have touched her life. I loved that post. I wanted to have women friends like that - the women that are there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. The women that are friends through and through.
I have a few women who are great friends, but, for the most part, my closest friends are men. (And no, they aren't friends with benefits! (okay, just one of them was)) I enjoy the company of men and the way they think, not to mention their sense of humor and so many other things. Just for the record though, I do not fall into the labels set forth here by What Men Think. I love men as people, for all that they are and are not, or as I put it before "warts and all." My score - way below 8.
It is my guys who have been there, spent hours on the phone with me laughing and talking things through. It is the guys who keep in touch and put up with my infrequent emotional states. I treasure the different perspectives, memorable conversations, and the things that I have learned! (There is a whole world out there that is largely unknown to women - and parts of it are best left unknown!) When there is something to share, I will usually pick up the phone or address an e-mail to, one of my guys.
I don't spend too much time thinking about this or wondering why it is that, even at work, I gravitate toward the men over forming friendships with the women. My daughter promotes my friendships with women - that whole mom thing. That said, despite having the mom thing, if possible, I would rather be in a group of men discussing politics or nuclear weapons or the latest spy thriller than with women discussing shoes, clothes, or celebrity gossip! This is not to say that I can't discuss the more feminine topics... it is just that I would rather debate foreign policy, travel, linguistics, or whatever (not pro sports though) than what Britney is doing now.
While Dads House is in the kitchen chatting up the women and Teri is hanging with her girls, I suppose I am outside loving life while discussing the latest legal thriller with the guys or keeping them on their toes with the flirtatious banter. (If women who hang out with men discussing things aren't sexy, so be it!)
It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I for one love, love, love the variety!
And I love, love, love the reality that by month's end one of the greatest guys in the world is going to be living just 1000 miles away in Texas! Close friends are the best!
8 comments:
Girlfriend!!! That is me too!!
I never had really close girlfriends until I became a mother. My job is in IT and generally I am the only female, a role I am quite comfortable playing. My best friends are men and always have been.
I think its because men are so honest and upfront. There's no mask, you know? It just feels comfortable and you can be yourself and no one is trying to compare themselves to you, etc. I love my chicas now - but they are a select group of gals that I can be real with. Those are far and few between.
Exactly! I worked with only men in an office in Nebraska. It was fabulous for all the reasons you mentioned above.
I do have fun girl friends now, but they are, as you said, few and far between!
I think friendship with the opposite sex, if one can manage it, is much more rewarding. After all, man and woman are complementary opposites, so each can supply the other with what he/she lacks. Most of my closest friends are women (perhaps this will change when I get married).
It's good to have male and female friends. I love my girlfriends, and I make sure I keep those relationships alive and engaged. Yet I often feel out of step with them because I often "think like a man" when it comes to things like love and sex.
As kennethsf says, marriage (or committed relationships) can change the opposite-sex friendships, although they shouldn't. That's because, underneath it all, many people still can't imagine (or trust) a male-female friendship that doesn't have some element of sexual tension/desire to it.
Kenneth - I can't imagine not having my guy friends, but I know plenty of women who do not "allow" their husbands to have female friends.
Kat - The Harry met Sally complex. But such friendships can and do exist... and are quite healthy.
I have girl friends that know me just as well, if not better, than my guy friends.
Does this mean you are making a visit to Texas?
Scotty - My guys know me better in some ways. I love having them around.
Just a Man - It means that I have been invited and hope to go!
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