16 September, 2008

A Bit Unorthodox?

This entry might surprise some readers - and then it again it might not. 
Today is the Diva's dad's birthday.  Today he is 39 (so very old!).
I first met the Diva's dad years and years ago.  He was a young tax attorney with a lot of work and a strong interest in the martial arts.  he believed in so many things - a house on a hill that he designed, not pressuring time but letting things happen as they will, and in people.  It is hard to believe that this meeting happened 12 years ago, but it did.  In those 12 years, we have been through so very much - love and resentment, passion and fear, and finally a sense of peace and acceptance. 
I remember talking to him; falling for his deep voice, and thinking that he was too old for his 27 years.  He was too settled, too sedentary, and in quite the rut. 
Despite my Virgo birthday, I am much more my Leo rising sign or my Aquarius moon sign.  I like change.  The idea of being settled or stagnate or sedentary, or in a rut sends shivers up my spine and sends a dark cloud over the very core of my being.  Two different personalities; two very different people and yet, similar in some indefinable ways.  I can't tell you what exactly drew me to this old coot in the body of a 27 year old, but something did.  perhaps it was his voice as I am drawn to a man's voice.  Perhaps it was his wit or his charm, his spirituality or his dreams.  And/or perhaps it was that connection that draws two together - the undefined and unexpected.
Throughout the years, I can honestly say that the old coot didn't rub off on me as much as I brought out the passion in him - the good and the bad passion that is.  When two passionate people get together, the sparks fly - both sexually and in disagreement.  And we definitely experienced moments of disagreement.  But we have experienced the positive side of passion as well - the intimacy, the growth, and the challenges that come when lessons are presented and learned.  
I haven't always liked this man, but love him... always.  I don't always agree with his choices, his priority structure, or the way he lives his life, but through him I have learned to accept.  I have learned that we can see the quality and the goodness of a person, love them, and give them the freedom to be exactly who they are and live the life they choose to live.  I have learned to, begrudgingly at times, "accept the things I can't change..."  To be honest, despite our disagreements, I would never and have never asked him to change or be any different than the man he is.   
Water under the bridge - the Old Coot and I have been through a lot.  We have navigated work loads, long distances, and having a child.  We have worked hard to listen, to accept, and to appreciate one another and the different places in which we find ourselves both physically and emotionally.  We will never marry, but we will always be close friends and share a wonderful child. 
So this is my post to the Old Coot, the Diva's Dad.  This is to say thank you for the challenges, for being a part of my life, and for sharing a blessing with me in the form of our daughter.  The Diva is, I firmly believe, the best of both of us... and the love we shared incarnate.  Without him, there wouldn't be her... without that love, she wouldn't be who she is. 
It all sounds so cliché, and yet, it is so very true. 
Thank you Old Coot and Happy Birthday!


abrightfuture said...

Amazing attitude...happy birthday indeed.

T said...

Aw so sweet!!!

I agree with all that you said regarding my ex as well. There's peace in that acceptance, isn't there?

Happy birthday "Old Coot"! *hee hee!*

cathouse teri said...

That was just precious! I'm glad you have maintained a very warm place in your heart for the father of your child.

I can't say that I have much of one for the father of my children. It's there. Deep down. I think I understand him probably more than anyone in the world does. But I've come to think that maybe that's not a good thing.

You all have a great Coot-ie day!

mama llama said...

TE, what a post. Reminds me of me in so many ways...

No more to say right now. Beautiful words in homage to a very important soul in your life. We all need to read those and be thankful!

Be well, TE.

dadshouse said...

That's very sweet. You rock!

Crazy Computer Dad said...

39 is not old. :-(

I still have very strong feelings for people that have essentially moved on in my life. Strong connections, though nothing like having a child with them. I don't harbor any ill will towards my son's mother, but I don't have the same relationship with her that it sounds like you have with your daughter's father.

The only thing that seems out of place here is the thing about 39 being old... :-)

Your daughter is fortunate to have two parents that get along fairly well! That is awesome for her!!


The Exception said...

Although I have not talked to the "old guy" since yesterday afternoon, I am sure that he had a wonderful birthday - I mean how can you not when the Diva sings Happy Birthday as only the Diva can! ;)

Thanks for all the comments.