04 March, 2009

The Magic Inch

Men are willing to tell the most interesting facts about themselves. They will give you the details of their cut abs or their exercise habits, or how much beer they can drink in a given period of time and the words they can belch. They might also give you a measurement - and I don't mean the measurement of their waist line or chest as that is something they are interested in knowing about a woman rather than sharing theirs with the same.

It is this measurement that intrigues me - or it entertains in some way. Why, oh why, do men need to know the length or the girth? It isn't as if these measurements are useful. Women need their bust measurements in order to fit clothes properly. Men don't need to have anything "fit" this particular body part.

Many of them measure anyway. They find ways of measuring that defy the imagination. I mean, they can measure from point A to point B or they can measure from behind point A to point B. The men that decide to measure are quite creative because, it is commonly believed, that the higher the number, the greater the result.

Of course, for some women that number really does matter while for others it doesn't.

Okay, so this is one of those little quirks about some men. They measure. They measure and feel free to tell women the results. They might even advertise the results. But there is one thing (beyond this) I don't understand...

Some times the measurement varies...

Yes, it varies. I have heard a guy explain that he is carrying 7 inches... or 8.

There is an inch difference there? An inch of growth? An inch that magically appears…

When measured from point A to point B, he measures 7... and yet, he also measures 8.

I am sorry guys, but how does this work? From whence does that inch appear? How can something that doesn't really grow over time grow an extra inch? And how do you know that it has grown that inch? I mean, do you feel an inch magically appear and disappear?

Does that inch appear only when certain variables occur?

Perhaps this inch appears during a full moon? When the sun is in the 7th house? When Venus and Saturn are aligned? When the tide is high? When the humidity is below 40%? In months that have only 30 days? Or maybe when you are "really" turned on???

It is this inch that intrigues me...

If I can figure out that inch and how you can make it magically appear and disappear... wow just think of what I can do with my bust line!!

 

8 comments:

T said...

Ha! That's hilarious!

Thanks for the giggle!

MindyMom said...

Hahaha! This is funny. I have never heard a man speak of an inch that comes and goes! Nor has a guy ever stated his measurement to me. Guess they must've wanted me to find out for myself! ;)

dadshouse said...

What makes you think guys measure themselves? Sometimes, it's girlfriends who measure guys. And usually only if it's worth measuring...

In perfect Spinal Tap form, let me just say, mine goes to 11!

Mama Llama said...

Ay, this is too much for me today.

:)

But I'll just spy on the comments.

Be well, TE.

Mike said...

Depends on if he measures from the top or bottom. The standard is the top meathod.

The Exception said...

I thought it was pretty funny when this happened. I mean, the guy has this magic inch. Come to find out that it is a measurement vs a perception - women perceive an inch more than the actual length...and DH, why would women need to measure? If everything works... then who cares how big or how small???

searchingwithin said...

Too funny, but true.

"Depends on if he measures from the top or bottom. The standard is the top meathod." What? There is a "standard method"? That's good to know.

Actually, I think that magical inch appears, just like fish stories, and the size of the fish that was caught.

Scotty said...

Ha!

It's probably just like searchingwithin's fish story :)