18 November, 2009

Beware of Vampires

My eye lids drooped and my head felt heavy.  I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the floor with a blanket and take a nap.  Drained – completely drained at noon.  No time for napping, I worked my way through the day attempting to find ways to regain energy – from chocolate to the warmth of my daughter’s hand, to talking with friends.  Tears never far from my eyes, I made it until bedtime when I collapsed.  A good ni9ght sleep can do wonders.

I woke a bit more refreshed and energized the day after my conversation with the vampire.

When I think of vampires of late, I think of those who live off the optimism and hope of others; those who drain the energy from the person to whom they are speaking or those around them. 

Think about it – I am sure you know people who have this characteristic?

I am familiar with the vampire – the seductive night creature that drains life and depends on that life to survive.    It is the relationship that leaves me exhausted after a conversation, regardless of the time of day.  It is the chat that deflates and drains, leaving me wondering why I need to continue to engage in something that leaves me feeling like this. 

The truth though, I have been engaging in such conversations for a long while.  I have never felt as drained by them as I do now, but I have felt exhaustion and fatigue from time to time throughout the past.  It is the conversation that is all complaining and negativity.  It is the phone ringing and my thinking – do I really want to answer that?  I answer it all the same.  It is the chat that leaves me thinking and eventually saying – stop talking and start changing it or just stop talking!

I feel drained by the vampire. 

My hope and optimism are pulled right out of me filling the vampire with all the life needed to continue for a few more hours or days.

And we all know these people.  We all know these situations.  The hardest part is not recognizing them as much as it is doing what it takes to maintain your own strength and energy – to pull away when necessary in order to maintain a level of energy that is healthy and comfortable for each.

It isn’t easy but it is necessary to detach – and yet that same detachment requires energy.  It requires a great amount of strength to maintain high energy levels while still operating with the vampire.  It is challenging to feel the pull and fight it – to listen to the lies and ignore them – to keep a balanced perspective in the light of the manipulation that is attempted.  And yet, it must be done in order to fend off the prince of the night.  

There are times when I would like the vampire of my life to be the fictitious vampire of the stories – the one that turns into a bat or is rendered helpless by the light! 


Momma Sunshine said...

I know exactly what you're talking about. For years I've called my mother an "emotional vampire".

dadshouse said...

Emotional vampires are the worst! Keep them at bay.

Sexual vampires, on the other hand, are part of human existence. Women exude sexual energy that men need. Period. It's been that way forever.

Martian said...

Wow, what a timely post, Exception. I know exactly what you're talking about, and think that calling them "vampires" is spot-on. A couple of months ago I ended a friendship with one such person -- dealing with her constant negativity and not-so-subtle ad hominem comments to me had finally reached the point that I couldn't take it anymore. It was a difficult decision, since it cut me off from other people with whom I would have liked to grow as friends, but I'm happier now to be away from her toxicity.

And lately, I've been consciously trying to be the anti-vampire: someone who builds people up.